Relationships

My Boyfriend Was Cheated On Before We Dated And It Tested Our Relationship

by Christy Piña
Universal Studios

My current boyfriend and I started dating a little over a year and a half ago. But before me, he had been on and off with a girl for five years.

The reason they were in an on and off relationship was because she cheated on him three times.

He was one of my closest friends in high school before we started dating. I was with him when he was going through these breakups, and I saw how much pain he was constantly in.

When we got together, I promised him right off the bat that I would never hurt him the way she did. I stand by that today, and I will continue to always.

Cheating is the one thing I would never do to someone. If you're so unhappy with a person, break up with them and then get with someone else. Don't do it while you're still with your original SO. This only causes pain and problems for them down the road.

Though I would never cheat on someone, I can see why someone would get a thrill from it. You get to have both: the person you can cuddle and watch movies with, and then the person you have simply for physical desires.

But don't do it. Don't be that person who messes with people's emotions in that way. When someone is cheated on, it screws with them mentally and emotionally. It scars them.

My boyfriend is strong. Thankfully, he's never had trust issues with me. But the fact that he was hurt to that extent stays with him and everyone who goes through it.

He never said anything about it in regards to me, but it was always kind of there, hovering in the back of our minds.

I knew it when we got into this relationship. I knew I would never cheat on someone, especially someone who's already gone through the heartbreak of cheating. Knowing about my boyfriend's past made me feel even more pressured to stick to my word.

Knowing about my boyfriend's past made me feel even more pressured to stick to my word.

Surprisingly, and thankfully, that pressure didn't really affect our relationship.

It's easy to think that someone who goes through that would have issues in future relationships, but my boyfriend never did. Not with me, at least.

I guess how people deal with cheating can go either way. It really depends on the person. Some people are damaged for life and will forever have trust issues, others are able to move past it.

I admire the people who can move past it, and sympathize with the people who can't. Trust issues are a part of my emotional baggage, and a lot of other people's as well.

Trust issues don't just come from being cheated on. For me, they come from being disappointed in the past.

It's hard to get into a new relationship with people who have been burned in the past, but it's so worth it. If you can be the person who restores your SO's faith in love, it's amazing.

You have to show them that having been hurt or betrayed in the past doesn't mean it'll continue happening. All it takes is one person to change someone's view on love.

All it takes is one person to change someone's view on love.

The pressure I felt (and still sometimes feel) with my boyfriend wasn't his fault. He never made me feel like he couldn't trust me, and that's important.

When someone's trust and heart are broken, it takes love and time for them to mend. If you truly love the person, you should be the one to help them do that. Be the one who shows them love doesn't always have to end badly.

Be their happy ending.