If trust issues aren’t the number one cause of breakups, it has to be one of the leading causes. In my brief time alive, I’ve noticed that the problems most couples face are usually arguments that can be traced to insecurities masked as trust issues.
A lot of times, prematurely entering relationships leads us to bring unresolved problems from previous relationships. This gives our significant others unfair disadvantages; it hinders them from giving us their all because we never give them a chance to do so.
The hurt we face and the issues into which we run without allowing for time to heal can spill into subsequent relationships. This spill can turn into a slippery slope that leads downhill into Heartbreakville. These are some of the signs of trust issues:
You check his/her phone
Do you have a password on your phone? Does your significant other know this password? If not, it can be a clear sign that you have some problems with trust.
While privacy is an essential, it is mandatory in any relationship. But, this doesn’t mean you should completely shut out your significant other. Your phone does not have to be protected like Camp David in order to protect your privacy. Unless you are a double agent or government operative, giving your partner your password shouldn’t be difficult.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend can still respect your privacy while still having access to your phone. The real question is what exactly you feel the need to keep private.
On the flipside, you shouldn’t be going through your significant other’s phone. It’s juvenile and devious. If you don’t feel comfortable confronting the person you are dating about something that genuinely concerns you, there is a bigger issue.
You think of worst-case scenarios
Another true indication of trust issues is the tendency to think of the worst case in every possible scenario. Just because someone missed your phone call doesn’t mean he or she is sneaking around.
Maybe the woman’s apparel you found was his sister's, or even worse, maybe it was a gift he was planning on wrapping up for you.
When you trust your significant other, it means you give the benefit of a doubt, no matter how inexplicable the situation may be. Every person deserves a chance to explain him or herself before conclusions are made. Only then can action be taken.
Your leash is tight
Another easy way to check if you have trust issues are the boundaries you consciously or unconsciously give. Is liking another girl’s status acceptable? How about phone calls and texts from the opposite sex or simply having a close friend of the opposite sex at all?
A lot of times, when we have trouble trusting someone, we monitor what he or she does and with whom. We get territorial and feel threatened by everyone, when in reality, their eyes are only for us.
Trust is about allowing someone free reign with complete faith. Cutting off all of his friends who are girls won’t do anything but hurt the relationship in the long term.
Getting jealous of with whom she is friendly is keeping her from shining and being herself. When we trust, we trust ourselves, which breeds healthier relationships.
Cheating is also a sign of having trust issues. Unfortunately, low self-esteem levels lead to ownership of infidelity, even if you weren't the party who was unfaithful. In reality, cheating is often a direct indication of a perpetrator's lack trust in him or herself.
The mistrust can manifest in many ways. Sometimes, people cheat when a relationship starts getting serious because they don’t trust themselves to handle that type of responsibility. Other times, it’s distrust in the other person.
You test your love
Some people let their insecurities and trust issues manifest into cheating; others do it by refusing happiness. It’s a sign you have trust issues if you find the need to create chaos in order for there to be something to fix again.
Testing your partner's fortitude is something that should have happened when you were deciding whether or not to enter the relationship at all. When you keep testing someone, you will eventually reach a limit, and the relationship will crumble, which will prove your self-fulfilling prophecy correct.
When you do decide to go through with a relationship, it’s important to have complete trust, not only in him, but in yourself, too. That way, when you take a leap of faith, you will be able to put in your all and let go of all inhibitions so the union can have a fighting chance of survival.
Relationships are like a contract with fine print. Upfront, you read about the perks: cuddling, dates, dependability. The fine print, however, is that the relationship may fail and someone can get hurt.
In fact, people who usually sign up for relationships experience pain in some way or another. It’s tricky because the hurt factor is the main reason trust issues occur. But, it’s also a surefire way to send another relationship up in flames.
When you get into a relationship, make sure you are ready to give 100 percent. Be with someone you know very well so that letting go to give your all won’t be as hard. Know yourself and make sure your heart has healed from past hurt so it can give maximum output.
When you put trust in, you get trust out.