Guys, if you are ready to send a booty call text, tread carefully. Even if a chick seems like she’d be cool with dropping by your place to give your hand a break, it would be foolish to assume there's no risk in sending the message.
A booty text goes one of two ways: You boost her ego enough to charm her into your bed or you piss her off enough to land you on her not-to-do list. The direction your text takes depends on how it makes her feel about herself.
Multiple factors contribute to how a booty text is received. These include, but are not limited to, your physical attractiveness (as rated by her), her feelings toward you, your history together and your timing.
To help you assess your chances of getting her to your bedroom, let me break it down for you:
1. How hot she thinks you are matters.
This is about sex. The correlation between physical attraction and booty-text success is obvious: The hotter she thinks you are, the more likely she is to respond positively.
When a girl thinks you’re hot, not only is it probable that she already wants you, but she’ll feel good if you show that you want her, too.
This puts you in a favorable position to booty text. However, if she’s not physically attracted to you, she likely won't say yes to a booty text and your chances of flattering her with your attempt to bed her are low.
For the sake of your own self-esteem, determine whether or not she thinks you’re hot before you try. Remember, hotness is subjective, so don’t get cocky and assume possession of it.
Just because you think most girls think you’re hot does not mean she does. Do whatever you must do to clarify. If the attraction isn’t mutual, chin up, bud. In that case, you’re better off on your own, anyway.
2. Your physical appeal isn’t everything.
Don’t think you’re in the clear just because she thinks you’re good looking; a bad personality can ruin you. Alternatively, a good one can dramatically increase your attractiveness. Don’t assume all hope is lost if she merely thinks you’re cute.
Add some charm (make her laugh, give her your jacket, tell her she’s beautiful, etc.) and cute becomes sexy, fast — bonus points if your charm is sincere. While being fake charming may get her into bed with you once or even a few times, it won’t keep her coming back for more than that.
Utilizing fake charm makes you a bigger douche than a guy who doesn’t charm her at all because at least that guy didn’t misrepresent himself.
While you don’t need her to develop an emotional attachment to you for your booty text to work, you do need her to like you as a person, so be charming, don’t act charming.
3. If neither of you sent a booty text before, being the first puts you in a highly vulnerable position, and she knows it.
As I’m sure you know, there is a huge difference between sex with a chick you’re dating and last-minute sex with a chick you’re not. But, respect is mandatory in both cases.
If you two haven’t already established a relationship based on casual sex, you risk looking like an assumptive assh*le by sending her a booty text when there is no history of booty texts.
Even if you have casually slept with her before, proceed with caution. Past sexual encounters do not guarantee that she’ll appreciate a booty text.
Her willingness to sleep with you is not an invitation to request her on demand. Doing so could make her go from feeling respected to feeling cheap, resulting in you screwing yourself while she sits on her high horse, knowing you wanted her but couldn’t have her.
My best advice to avoid that mess is to initiate the type of relationship you want with her from the beginning. Don’t be deceptive. If you want booty texts and impulsive sex, ask her for it.
She’ll respect your straightforward approach, even if she doesn’t want the same.
4. The timing of your text will be the ultimate deciding factor.
Unfortunately, you have little control about whether or not you get it right.
Guys seem to think that if a girl accepts or declines a booty text, it's solely a reflection of the sender. If she says yes, you think you’re hot sh*t. If she says no, you feel like sh*t. Don’t internalize her response too much.
Although you are a big factor, how she responds has a lot more to do with where she is when she gets your message. A girl who would have jumped you a few months ago could be offended by a booty text now due to changes in her perspective or life circumstances.
The reverse is also possible. If you don’t interact with her regularly, and you’re not sure of her current stance on booty texts and casual sex, feel her out first. When in doubt, don’t send, especially if it’s the middle of the night.
After all, no matter what you say after midnight, it’s an undeniable booty text. There is nothing innocent about “hey you” at 3 am. You know it; she knows it. What you don’t know is how she’ll acknowledge it.
That depends on the context of the rest of her life. Therein lies your biggest factor between a booty text that blows her self-esteem and one that compliments her self-worth. You’re blindly aiming for the latter. Good luck!