Why Spending Time Alone After A Breakup Will Leave You Better, Not Bitter

by Courtney Wregget

Most of us know at least one person who moves from relationship to relationship with barely any time to breathe in between.

These people have never been single for more than a few months at a time and during that time, they actively search or start “talking” to someone else in hopes of assuaging the realization that they are now, in fact, alone.

What they fail to understand, though, is that being alone after a breakup is the best medicine to take along the road of heartbreak recovery.

While it’s likely that you already know it, I can attest to the fact that being alone after a breakup is definitely not easy -- especially if your ex quickly moves on to someone shiny and new. It's important to remember you are definitely better off without him in the long run.

Immediately after a breakup, why would you want to have to worry about a new person? A new person means new relationship problems to mend, and new ways to learn about and adjust to.

A new person means letting in someone new and re-learning how to trust. Are you ready to let someone in while you’re still very much raw from the pain of the past? Fresh from a breakup, it’s optimal to only worry about and mend yourself.

I’m not saying you should go out and eat at a restaurant by yourself — though, it’s a good exercise. I’m just saying you should stay off your phone and not worry about who is and who isn’t texting or calling.

The bottom line is that people who need to be constantly dating someone tend to not be the most self-sufficient, independent people.

If you are actually afraid of being single — subconsciously or not — you need to focus on the major self-esteem issues you may have been ignoring. You owe it to yourself to become as strong as you can be on your own two feet.

In the year following my devastating breakup, I have learned more about myself than I ever dreamt possible.

And I know there’s so much left for me to learn. When I didn’t have to worry about someone else’s wants and needs, I was able to satisfy my own, first and foremost.

Before this year I've had to myself, I didn't even have a favorite ice cream flavor because I had been eating my ex’s favorite flavor for years.

A couple of years down the line, when you are completely over the person who broke your heart, you will be proud of yourself for taking the time to get over things — by yourself, without someone to fill the space.

Don't feel inferior because you are dealing with your breakup alone; feel strong. You absolutely need to take the time to heal yourself before you can ever fully give yourself to another person.

No one wants to — nor should try to — piece your heart back together for you. You need to be strong enough to do it yourself. If you are, your patience and perseverance will definitely pay off.

Photo Courtesy: Tumblr