The Art Of Getting Screwed Over: Why We Should Retire The Dating Game

by Ashley Grates

Whether you were the one getting played or the one doing the “playing,” we've all versed in the art of getting screwed over.

The worst part is you don’t realize it’s happening until after the damage is done. No matter how wise you think you might be, there will always be someone out there who’s a little more clever.

If you look at the situation between the player and played, or the assh*le and the innocent victim, you will notice a few things. For the people doing the screwing over, it's easy because they don't give a single f*ck, or at least they don’t show it.

I mean, they're the reason it's happening, aren't they?

As for the person getting screwed over, it’s simply unfair. You're left to feel disappointed, embarrassed and undeniably stupid.

You sit there alone and confused, thinking, “How did I not see this coming? Why did I think I would be the exception? Am I insane for thinking it would work out? I can't believe I was that dumb?”

Getting screwed over is a part of life. Think about it: If you lived in a perfect world, you wouldn’t be able to know the good from the bad, right from wrong and whether you were getting played or not.

Whether it be in the professional world or your personal life, it's not something you can hide from.

There is an art to getting screwed over just perfectly. Here are a few things you should do:

1. Find a guy with an interesting past, maybe a debatably crazy ex-girlfriend or something along those lines.

2. Get semi-attached because you’re only human, and you can’t help it.

3. Talk yourself into maybe liking this person because he's different than you thought.

4. Believe he's a genuine human being.

5. Be oblivious to what's actually happening!

If you follow these steps, you, my friend, will have mastered the art of getting screwed over. Congrats!

As for the player, or the one doing the “screwing over,” make the person you're screwing over feel special (but not too special). Maybe this is genuine, and maybe it's not. But, it has to be done.

Talk to this person daily, and act like you somewhat like her (but not too much). Next, ask her to hang out repeatedly to show interest and then, when she least expects it, do what you do best.

But let's take a minute to rewind.

When did it become okay to “play” other people and screw them over? Who decided this was the way it was going to go, and you had no other choice but to abide by the rules of this so-called game?

You’d think by this age, maturity would reign over us and make us realize people have feelings, and it’s not right to play with those feelings.

I guess, in my mind, this says a lot about your character. You have no problem doing what you have to do in order to get what you want, even if it means stepping on someone else in the process.

The problem is if you want to screw someone over, you need to think about the consequences. And that’s the first problem.

People who are generally good at this don’t think. They act without thinking about anyone else but themselves. Maybe it’s a personal issue they’re working on or how they are wired, but it doesn’t excuse them from acting like sh*tty people.

People will screw you over your whole life. It's inevitable, but it's how you deal with it that reflects the type of person you are. If you can shake it off as the person getting screwed over or played, good for you. By doing so, you’re the bigger person.

You've grown to realize people will make mistakes, and that’s okay. But make it clear you still don’t agree with it.

And if you want to burn down someone's house after getting screwed over, maybe you should seek therapy (or something less expensive and illegal). How you deal with the situation says a lot about your character, too. Remember that.

So, to every player out there, whether you realize what you’ve done or not, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Pick one, and save the other person the time and effort.