I'm knee deep in wedding planning. My kitchen table is used for seating charts, bridal magazines and business cards to florists and photographers. A table to be used for food? PUH-LEEZE.
If you're thinking of getting engaged soon, there are definitely some questions you should answer first. It'll help your marriage and strengthen it in the long run.
For fun, ask your partner these questions tonight. Make sure to write down your answers beforehand to see just how well you that guy you're considering spending your life with.
1. How many sexual partners have they had?
You should be able to comfortably talk about each other's sexual past.
Let's face it: sex is a huge component in marriage and probably a huge reason for divorce. Talking about how many people you've been with is a gateway to being able to talk about your own sex life.
What do you like? What do you not get enough of? What kinds of kinky stuff do you want to try out?
2. What is the one thing they absolutely must accomplish in order to be happy?
My fiancé knows that the one thing I definitely have to do before I die is publish a novel.
You want to know what goals they have and the timeline for achieving them.
3. Did something tragic happen in their childhood?
Were they bullied in high school, or did their best friend pass away? Did they have some medical problem that caused them a lot of torment and heartache?
Understanding and talking about those pains you always kept to yourself makes your relationship stronger. It demonstrates unconditional love and support for your significant other when you can act as their sounding board.
4. How do they honestly feel about your friends?
Or, put another way: Will they ever give you a hard time hanging out with them?
5. What is their weakness when it comes to money?
Do they impulse shop? Do they not spend enough on regular household items like toilet paper?
Talking about your financial flaws can help you assess what will ultimately impact you down the line.
6. Would they ever walk out of a job on principle?
If so, how would you need to pick up the pieces? Would you be okay doing so as long as your partner is happy and self-respected? Would an act like that ruin your trust in each other?
7. Why do they want to have a certain number of children? Why don't they want to have any?
I grew up as an only child: my brother and sister are twenty years older than me.
They didn't live across the hall from me, so I missed out on that sibling relationship. My fiancé grew up with a sister, and that's the reason he wants to have only two kids.
I grew up feeling alone which makes me want to have a huge family. We each understand where the other is coming from.
8. Why do you want to get married?
It may seem stupid, but if the answer is anything other than love, you may need to reevaluate.
9. What do you want to accomplish before you get married? Are you okay if you settle down and never reach that goal?
Seriously, this is vital. Resentment is a real thing. We all have our dreams and goals but getting married before you achieve them can be too much for some people.
Find out now and you could potentially save yourself from some major heartbreak in the future.