8 Things To Stay Away From When You're Going Through A Tough Breakup

by Sonya Matejko

If there’s one thing that we all know, it’s that breakups suck. No matter what side of it you’re on, it’ll eventually hit you and it won’t be pretty.

Whether you wallow in it now or later, you will have to deal with the sad feelings of losing your “other half” at some point.

It’s up to you how you choose to handle it, and there are many options from which to choose. Here are eight things you definitely should not do while navigating a breakup:

1. Go On Dates Just Because Everyone Else Is

Just because your other single friends might do it doesn’t mean that you have to, as well. Maybe you’re not ready or maybe you just want to spend time on other things.

Regardless, don’t succumb to the pressure just because you can get some free dinner and drinks out of it. Date only when, and whom, you want.

2. Drown Your Sorrows Publicly

Let’s face it: The first time you see your ex out, things can go one of two ways. You might immediately cry and head to the bathroom, or you might smile, flirt and throw your head back laughing, even when something wasn’t so funny. Be confident and irresistible and go with the latter.

3. Go Out Seeking Revenge

Keeping hostility and resentment in your heart won’t bring you any peace or happiness and it especially won’t bring you a new beau. By focusing your time on getting back at someone, you’re avoiding where you should be dedicating your focus: yourself.

We all know that karma is a b*tch, anyway.

4. Drunk Text Your Ex

Nothing good will come of this, whether it’s in legible English or not. Your ex could say nothing, say something you don’t want to hear or say the perfect thing and get you right back into the chaotic web known as heartbreak.

5. Casually Hook Up With Your Ex

This one is a no-brainer and no, it will not convince him or her to get back with you. Instead, it’ll only leave you feeling worse than before.

Respect yourself enough to not go back to someone who didn’t fight to the death to keep you at his or her side.

6. Spend All Your Time Wallowing

Yes, it is important to face the truth, go through the acceptance phase and cry your heart out with Ben and Jerry.

However, don’t sit in that phase forever. Let it sink in, then fix your makeup and go take on the world. You have to save yourself.

7. Rebound Into Another Serious Relationship

Casually dating may not hurt, but immediately plunging into another serious relationship won’t supply you with the happy ending you want, either.

You will not be able to fully offer yourself to another person because you come with a lot of baggage.

You need to work through this on your own before you can devote your heart to someone else.

8. Stalk Social Media For Signs

Honestly, just avoid social media completely right after a breakup. If you don’t, you’ll likely see yet another engagement or a photo of your ex that you will most likely overanalyze and do so incorrectly.

Don’t go probing into what your ex has been up to. Rather, focus on what you’re planning to do next.

Instead of doing the preceding eight things, surround yourself with people who make you happy and enjoy being around you. Foster new friendships. Start doing things for yourself, like traveling, reading a novel or going to the yoga classes you never had time to do before.

Revel in the freedom of being able to make decisions without having to loop in someone else. In general, just keep your sh*t together. Don’t lose yourself in the heartbreak. Respect yourself and present yourself with poise. Know that you are perfectly capable of being alone and are happy to do so.

Don’t become a mess of mascara, empty bottles and forgotten midnight makeouts because ultimately, you want to be loved again. In order to be loved, you have to love yourself first. Be the girl that the guy of your dreams deserves.

Enjoy being single, celebrate your independence and adore your freedom, but do it in a way that makes you better for it.

From one girl who used to cry at the bar because her ex is there to another, keep it classy. You never know when your next opportunity to fall in love may manifest and you probably don’t want to be headfirst in a triple whiskey when it does finally arrive.

Photo Credit: Getty Images