Women always fall for the bad boys. Just listen to one song on Beyoncé's Lemonade and you'll hear her crying out for the entire female population.
Part of my job as a professional matchmaker entails exposing the con artists to our Bachelorettes during Date Coaching before they walk down the aisle. After one of them broke down in tears in my office, I knew that I needed to reveal the characteristics common in cheaters, fakers and flakes to women everywhere.
This 20-something girl had everything a woman could want: a satisfying career, a confident personality and an excellent workout regimen. Yet she looked like a scared little girl when she described the latest man in her life.
Here's a public service announcement to all women: Even girlbosses can fall for the snares of players. The most intelligent women have been fooled by their charm and cunning personalities.
According to Thomas Hardy, it's worse when strong women fall for them -- these women need to relinquish their values and self-worth. Bad boys penetrate the psyche by making even the most confident women feel on edge, but on top of the world for a few fleeting moments.
Some women have ruined their lives for this thrill by trying to tame and change bad boys, while emptying their pocketbooks and forgetting their dreams. To protect yourself from the trouble these boys can cause, pay attention to these seven telltale signs that he may not be marriage material:
1. You catch him in white lies.
Two words: fact check. Unfortunately, we live at a time where you need to take precautions and confirm what men say for yourself. Especially if you have just started to get to know him, ensure that the music festival he brought up actually occurs or that he works where he says that he does.
If he lies about small matters, he probably has other skeletons in the closet. Remember, you probably would have swiped right to Ted Bundy.
2. He doesn't make plans.
I know that this turmoil may counterintuitively make him more attractive to you since at a superficial level people want what they can't have, but pay attention. If you have trouble depending on him at this stage of the game when he's trying to impress you, all bets are off when he thinks that he's got you in the bag.
Further down the line, picture your daughter waiting at school for her daddy who fails to pick her up, or you waiting in a lace white gown at the altar. You want a man who values your time, makes plans in advance with you and keeps them. Men who are unable to do so are unready for a relationship. Spontaneity can be sexy, but planned spontaneity is even sexier.
3. He parties.
A man who drinks too much may avoid dealing with his issues and self-medicate. Charismatic men tend to have a dark alter ego unless they have a strong sense of faith and/or a nurtured value system. This drinking problem can turn into a drug addiction as well. What used to be acceptable in college is no longer the norm.
Also, pay attention to how your man spends his money. Is he impulsive or does he make smart decisions regarding money? A little splurge here and there, especially on you, works wonderfully, but a man could make all of the money in the world yet lose it in one night if he has trouble managing it.
4. His phone is blowing up.
While in the dating phase, you may both date other people, but if you notice other women texting him flirty messages while he shows you photos and then he disappears into the bathroom for a half hour, he may have different intentions than you do.
5. He gets physical quickly.
It's normal for a man to be physically attracted to you and want to act on it, so make sure that you set clear boundaries from the beginning. Women get attached far more easily than men, so keep that in mind as you figure out your relationship goals for intimacy.
Feel free to get to know him for as long as possible before letting lust cloud your judgment.
6. He complains about his friends.
Everyone has off days, but a man who persistently complains about how other people have wronged him will sooner or later transfer the blame to you. Frequently players are also master manipulators and can turn a situation where they're to blame into your fault.
You may find yourself apologizing, even though the lie that he told you about where he lives just came out. Talk to a relative or a trusted friend to unwind the knot that he has tied around you and to get some clarity on the situation.
7. He calls you “Babe.”
Typically, if he calls you, “Babe,” especially in the early stages of a relationship, he gives this title to the reams of other women in his life.
It's a pity that these handsome and charming men who may make passionate lovers for the short-term are simply a mirage. After you see him for who he is, you may feel foolish and despair, but know that you're in good company. Most women have fallen for a bad boy in the past, but all players have the same characteristics. Use these warning signs to spot one before he can capture your heart and you say “I do.”