It's often said that it is better for the relationship when the woman is more attractive than the man. While that's probably true, as women seemingly are the less selfish and egotistical of the two breeds, there's much more that factors into the longevity of a relationship.
In fact, although a better looking woman, comparatively, is good for the relationship, when one party surpasses the other in the most valuable aspects of a person, the relationship is likely to fail.
People should always do their best to date their equals. I'd argue that most of the time, the relationships that last have this characteristic as the case. While there are plenty of good reasons to only date your equal, these are the six most prominent:
It's difficult to treat someone as your equal when you don't see that person as such.
Love is blinding -- there's no argument there. Unfortunately, as love continues, and fluctuates, your eyes start to adjust. You begin to see things as less flowery and more black and white. This is when we begin to see our reality as less composed of our opinions and we see our world as more physical -- more rational.
We see our partner from a distance and begin to notice things we never noticed before. Anyone who has been in a serious enough relationship has experienced this phenomenon. Waking up from this dream can be a bit of a shock.
Thankfully, as long as you still consider your lover to be an equal, you're much less likely to be disappointed with what you see in the morning. If you don't see your partner as your equal, you won't treat him or her as such -- if you can't treat your partner as an equal, then what are the chances this person will want to stick around?
You don't want to feel like you're downgrading for your partner.
Although it's possible that a person always dates below his or her potential, it doesn't make much of a difference.
Human beings are fascinating for the very reason that they spend most of their lives looking for something greater, better than themselves.
We may search for a god, for a higher high, for a calmer calm. As far as life partners go, we are always searching for someone whom we believe to be better than ourselves.
We're not looking for better than ourselves in every aspect -- no wants wants to feel lacking in comparison in every aspect -- but we are looking for someone who is better than us in some aspects, basically making that person our equal. Possibly opposites, but equals nonetheless.
Settling for less than perfect will have you second-guessing your decision.
Again, this may very well be something more relevant to men. Both sexes have individuals who experience commitment issues.
Many people question their individual relationships and question their continuous decision to remain and be a part of that relationship. The larger the discrepancy between individuals in a relationship, the more excuses we have to end the relationship.
After some time, many, if not most relationships, reach a point at which one or both individuals begin to nitpick and find reasons they should not be with this person -- I'm sure many of you have had similar relationships. The more unequal the relationship feels to those within it, the more unlikely it is to last.
You can't continue growing when you're being "held back" by your partner.
Many of you may argue that people don't change. That's a load of crap. It's impossible for people not to change over time. How they change and how great the change is will vary. Nonetheless, people need to change, need to grow in order to feel as if they are living a purposeful and fulfilling life.
This may vary from person to person, but many will begin to worry when they notice a lack of personal development. The more driven the person and the more hungry he or she is to experience life, the more intense this feeling will be.
Your partner is the person you want to spend your life with -- a person you are convinced will make your life better. A person who can't keep up is a person whom we will inevitably find boring.
You will have less tension due to income discrepancy.
Yes, women still make less than men. Obviously not all women, but women who work the same positions as their male counterparts do, to this day, make significantly less money than. This aside, when the household income is one-sided, the relationship may suffer.
This won't always be the case, but it often will. This is most often the case when the women is the breadwinner, or the majority breadwinner. In these cases, the man should learn to quiet his ego. Unfortunately, that's not always going to happen.
Let's be honest: Men want to be the caregivers or, at the very least, not feel that they are being financially overshadowed by their women. This doesn't mean that the man ought to always make the most money in a relationship, but it does mean that the woman must be wary about dating a man who has a much slimmer wallet.
You're likely to get along better.
Generally speaking, we get along better with those we feel to be our equals. We have more respect for them and are more likely to listen and not just talk. When two individuals feel as equals, they find themselves on a level playing field. They feel more confident and more willing to respect the relationship itself.
The more equal you and your lover find each other, the more comfortable and respectful you will be. The more unequal the relationship, the more likely it is that either the two will make the other feel insufficient -- actively or passively.
Always do your best to date your equal. If you can't then, at the very least, do your best to treat your partner as such.
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