6 Reasons We Keep Going Back To F*ckboys, Despite Knowing Better
The assumption is, by definition, a f*ckboy will f*ck you up.
He will consume you and leave you with mascara-stained bed sheets.
Urban Dictionary, one of the most reliable sources known to our generation, has a plethora of definitions for "f*ckboy."
Some go as far as describing the “usual appearance,” while other comments are dripping with so much venom, it leads you to believe the people behind them fell for a f*ckboy's charm.
The general consensus is they are manipulative and will stop at nothing to get what they want, whether it's money or just your dignity.
Their key traits are as follows:
- Speaking to multiple girls, but promising it's only you
- Acting like he wants to be in a relationship, but there are no efforts to do anything other than "Netflix and chill"
- Disappearing for ages, only to pop up again with a “hey stranger” message and act like everything is normal
- Thinking he can get any girl
- Relying on his mother
So, why do we do it? With all the joke memes and horror stories on social media, why do we still play their games?
1. They spit a good game.
This breed of man is able to charm his way into your bed, head and heart.
Before you’ve even had a chance to cyber stalk and vet him properly, he’ll have you thinking he’s the one.
He'll soon be filling your head with deep and meaningful one-liners that you are almost certain came from a Drake song.
There may be a moment when you doubt the charm and charisma, but it doesn’t last for long.
These men also love a challenge, especially if they think they can win.
2. We see their potential.
He got you on a date, right?
He got you into bed, didn’t he?
You’re still seeing him a month later, aren’t you?
He must be doing something right to get you to stick around.
Sure, it’s the bare minimum, but you are still here.
Whatever little he is doing makes you believe he has the potential to be more.
3. We think we can change them.
For some reason, we think we can change a man’s bad habits.
This is a common misconception.
We don't want to change the person we fell for in the first place.
When it comes to a f*ckboy, we think we see something no one else does.
We think the sweet nothings and small acts of love are genuine and meant solely for us.
So we take these moments and build them up in our heads.
We tell ourselves he will change his f*ckboy ways for us.
Even though he doesn't have a job and spends too much time drinking or smoking weed, you think you can help him better himself.
4. Everyone has one.
Remember when you went to school and five kids had Tamagotchis on Monday morning?
By Friday afternoon, the whole class had one.
That is how it is with f*ckboys.
Chances are (and this depends on your age), you have already had one (or a few) f*ckboys enter and leave your life.
This point is as important as the others, if not more.
Every woman should have at least one f*ckboy in her life.
Not for sh*ts and giggles, but because he can actually teach her something about herself.
I have learned to trust my gut. I like to think I can now smell a f*ckboy from a mile away.
If one ever gets close enough, I now know to decipher his insincere psychobabble.
In the worst case scenario, he'll get what he wants and leave you feeling wounded.
But now you know, so you won’t be fooled by the over-intense charm and lack of actual emotion ever again.
5. They are everywhere.
One of the prerequisites for being a f*ckboy is a reliance on one’s mother for food, money and general ego boosts.
It saddens me to say this, but there is a super breed of f*ckboy.
He is stealthier and far more likely to thrive. I call him the f*ckman or f*ckboy 2.0.
He is charming, driven, successful, interesting and exciting. All of these characteristics will strategically throw you off his f*ckman stench.
It will do you well to remember that “behind every great man is a great woman."
If he is not being supported by his mother or family, he almost certainly has a rich wife or girlfriend (or both) funding his image.
So tell me, with a spectrum ranging from boys who are still rolling around in their best friend's cars to men who pull up in Range Rovers (that probably don’t belong to them), what chance do we have?
6. You don’t think you deserve better.
On some level, you don’t think you can or should be treated better than this.
Maybe you don’t think you’re hot enough or that anyone will care for you the way f*ckboy number three does.
But someone out there is capable of giving you so much more.
Why settle for late-night booty calls and dates that consist only of "Netflix and chill?"
Why degrade yourself to sneaking in and out of his bedroom window so his mom can’t see you coming in, just because he’s "not ready" for you to meet the family?
These men are comfortable. By doing the little they do, they are able to have regular sex without emotional attachments.
In all honesty, I can’t even be mad about that. We have allowed ourselves to settle and lower our standards.
I say we should cut them off and stop making it so easy for them.
At first, they will move on to the next easy target.
But eventually, if we remove ourselves from their twisted food chain, they will have to evolve.
One can only hope their ways will die out.