Whether you were planning on it or not, you've fallen for a woman who has kids — now what? Dating a mom can be tricky. It takes a special man to build a relationship with someone who has children. Check out some tips:
1. Realize You Won't Be The First Priority
There will be times you might not even be second (or third!) fiddle to a mom. Just know that her child's schedule, meals and needs will come before yours. It's natural to be selfish and to want her attention on demand, but would you want it any other way?
It says a lot about a person who is interested in a woman who values taking care of her bambinos. Also, know that regardless of how involved the father is, he is part of her children's lives. You don't have to be bros with the biological father, but be prepared to deal with another man in your woman's life.
2. Be Patient
You have to plan ahead to develop a meaningful relationship with a mom. Fitting into her life requires some scheduling. You also need to give her adequate time to find childcare and free time.
It is imperative to be prepared to adapt to unexpected circumstances: kids get sick, babysitters flake, school events pop up, and moms get tired and might not want to go out. Be mindful that flexibility and patience are key qualities.
On top of the daily woes we all face, moms have an additional load of it. Being understanding and calm will make a big difference in her life.
3. Be Spontaneous
Not to contradict the point above, moms live a scheduled life and are rarely able to step outside of their daily routines. A random phone call or text to see how her day is going is a great gesture that will break up the monotony of her day and will put a smile on her face.
If you know she has a free day or down time, whisking her away on a whim can earn you major bonus points. When a woman's high point comes from PTA meetings and car pools, a bit of unexpected fun and attention will definitely leave a positive, lasting impression.
4. Don't Waste Her Time
Being a good mom means you have to grow up quickly. Moms might play Simon Says with 'Lil Johnny, but the last thing she wants to do is play games with a man. If you're looking to settle down with this woman, have a plan for the future and be prepared to execute.
Moms are used to running a household and will appreciate your initiative and planning. When you deal with a woman who has kids, she isn't looking to mother you — she wants to know she can be vulnerable and will be taken care of. Showing you are a man who can step up and take charge will let her know you can be an asset, not just another mouth to feed.
5. Ask About Her Children
The only thing a woman likes talking about more than herself is her kids. The bond between a woman and her child is the true definition of unconditional love.
If you're trying to woo her, take a genuine interest in what is closest to her heart. Remember milestones her children are nearing. If you're looking to be in her life long-term, her children are part of the deal.
Don't rush into meeting her kids. Her mam-bird instincts will tell you when the time is right — but until then, planting a seed of interest gives her an idea of how you might fit into their family.
6. Love Her
A woman who has kids has obviously been through some type of emotional roller coaster with a man. Although she may be a strong woman for her children, there is a solid chance she carries some quantity of emotional baggage.
The payoff is, once she opens up and commits to you, you will reap the benefits of a grateful and loving woman. A woman who can handle sleepless nights with newborn, sick children and busy schedules will be a natural at nurturing and loving you.
Dating a mom isn't for everyone. There are definitely many issues to consider and it takes an extremely special person to love someone who has children — not to mention the kids themselves. However, having a woman and her children in your life means you can get more love out of the deal than you originally bargained to get.