5 Ways You're Making It Harder For Your Relationships To Last The Long Term
We aren't perfect beings, and that's OK. We f*ck up. When you look back on why things went wrong with all of your past relationships, you start to realize you had some part in it, too.
In a world full of an abundance of information easily accessible through our fingertips, anxiety and insecurities can grow. Self-doubt can take the form of irrational behavior that goes against who you truly are.
I've discovered some of the top ways someone can sabotage a relationship, as I am guilty of sabotaging myself. I am an imperfect person, but I'm trying to learn from my mistakes and hope that some of my errors can benefit other dealing with similar circumstances. Stay away from these behaviors, and don't disrupt a relationship before it even has a true chance to start.
1. Coming on too strong.
When you meet someone new that you connect with, it can be so thrilling. The excitement of receiving wanted attention from someone can be so addictive that one person can start to come on too strong. This can be detrimental to creating a stable foundation for a relationship, especially if you are skipping steps and jumping too far ahead of yourself.
Excitement is good. It is one of the greatest feelings to experience. Just make sure that you are both on the same page and moving at a similar pace.
2. Acting too needy or clingy.
Having the need for constant contact can be a huge turnoff. Relying on another person for 100 percent of your happiness will inevitably leave you disappointed. Your happiness cannot be entirely dependent on one person. You have to make time for yourself, your friends, your family and your personal interests. An equal balance will leave you fulfilled in all aspects of your life.
3. A relationship for the sake of it.
We all know at least one person that is well known for this. You know the ones that are always in a relationship, then single for about 12 hours and then suddenly their Facebook has updated you with their new significant other.
As I mentioned, time with yourself is important. In fact, being single allows you to fully embrace yourself and figure out what you like and what you want to do. Don't be afraid to be alone. When you are not in a relationship, take advantage of the opportunity you have to learn as much as you can about you.
The age of technology has really made it harder for us to ignore irrelevant information about a person. Today we look back at pictures of exes or obsess over whether your better half is in contact with other females. Intense jealousy is toxic and will prevent any shot of your relationship going any further. A lot of women know that but it is not always followed.
Don't obsess over his past. Everyone has a past and relationships that came before you. Let this stay in the past. Don't be the one that is creating a problem where there isn't one.
Lies will always come back to bite you in the ass. The timing varies between people and quality of the lie, but things always have a way of coming out. Lying to the person you are in a relationship or lying to yourself will eventually hurt you. If you've cheated, there is most likely a reason you cheated. It doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, but it does mean that you owe it to yourself and the person you are with to be upfront and honest so both parties are able to make a real decision going forward.
An earlier version of this article was originally published on the author's blog.