Be The Lover, Not The Friend: 5 Ways To Stay Out Of The Friend Zone

by Justin Stenstrom

There exists a fifth dimension, beyond what is known to man.

It lies between the pit of man’s fear and the summit of his imagination.

It is an area between light and shadow, between science and superstition. It is an area we call the friend zone.

Ah, yes, the elusive, mysterious and often dreadful friend zone. The area where a man’s dreams comes to a crashing and abrupt end.

Its appearance can strike without warning and can come on gradually over time. Whatever the case, it’s definitely an area to be avoided.

Often, however, it can flex its unyielding tentacles and pull a poor man inside. Not only this, but it has a strong gravitational pull, somewhat like a black hole and can actually draw the same poor, hapless and unfortunate individual in, leaving nothing but regret and agony.

Although most men try to avoid it, many men cannot and subsequently fall victim to it.

So, what is it exactly, and how can we stay away from it? Well, let me first explain precisely what we’re dealing with: The friend zone is the place (figuratively, of course,) guys get put into by women who would rather be friends with them than lovers.

The friend zone is a purgatory of sorts where a man who wants a sexual relationship with a woman is involuntarily be placed.

For one reason or another, a woman will position a man here and his chances of having sex with her will decrease astronomically.

The woman makes up her mind that he is not a potential mate and then shuts off any attraction switches that may have been flickering for him.

After this, she thinks of him at best as being a friend, and at worst as being a creep.

And, everything in between these two roles is all the man will ever be in her eyes. What he will not be, is a partner, lover or husband.

It happens all too often. But fear not, guys! Here are five ways to keep yourself from heading into this friend zone black hole.

The next time you meet a woman whom you think could be more than a friend, make sure you use these tips:

1. Don’t be afraid to show interest

Guys will do everything they can to pretend that they are not interested in a woman.

They will not compliment her or tell her that they are attracted to her and may even avoid the woman completely to feign disinterest.

It’s okay to play it cool at times, but this is a very fine line to walk. Don’t overdo this like so many guys do.

Eventually, you must show interest and let her know how you really feel about her.

2. Make a move... ask her out!

If you want to date a woman, you must ask her out on a date.

Simple enough, right? Well, not for everyone.

Guys will often hesitate too long before asking a woman out, or may even lack the confidence to ask out a woman they like.

They can build all sorts of attraction, but when it comes to putting themselves out there, they often fear being rejected and will sometimes avoid ever making a move. This is the worst.

3. Get flirty

Being flirtatious with women definitely characterizes you as someone who she can think of as perhaps being her lover.

Guys who never flirt or don’t really know how to flirt are the ones who are constantly put in the friend zone.

In fact, these guys unfortunately often take up permanent residence in this "friendly" area and tend to get comfortable in the domain.

These are the guys who need the most help with women.

4. Get sexual when the time’s right

Similar to the second tip, getting sexual entails that you make a move when the time comes.

Some guys have everything down: attraction, comfort, flirting and making an initial move (asking her out), but when the time comes to escalate and get sexual, they freeze.

Maybe because of inexperience or maybe because of insecurity, they balk and then lose their opportunity to progress with the woman.

Instead of moving ahead, they may actually (and often do) completely blow it with the woman, and end up singing the blues in the friend zone.

5. Don’t be needy or too nice

The final thing you can do to ensure you stay far away from the friend zone is to not be too needy. Being needy with a woman or being overly nice will always lead to trouble.

It comes across as not being genuine and it makes you seem like the insecure and desperate man you probably are.

Neediness kills attraction and almost always sends you on a one-way-trip to Palookaville. Avoid it at all costs!

Next time you meet someone you like, follow these five tips and keep yourself as far away from the friend zone as possible.

It may try to suck you in with its strong, universal pull, but heed this advice and you will be fine. You'll definitely be on your way to becoming more than “just friends.”

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