We’ve heard the warnings from our moms, sisters and the Disney Channel as little girls: Stay away from the heartbreakers.
We know we should stay away from the bad boys with the reputations, but for some reason, we just can’t seem to help ourselves.
Millennial women tend to date the guys we know will ultimately end up hurting us.
Are we just more resilient and adventure hungry than the generations of women before us? The fact remains that some guys are just no good for us.
Yet, we ignore the flashing lights, warning signs and concerned looks from our friends and dive head first into relationships we know will end in burning flames.
We could stop, we should stop, but we won’t stay away from these five guys:
The Bad Boy Who Can't Be Tamed
Perhaps in 20 or 30 years, this terminal wild child will be ready to do the whole white picket fence and dog thing, but probably not.
It has been drilled into our minds via subliminal messaging and a Nicholas Sparks novels, that for every good girl, there is a bad boy who will be good just for her.
This is fiction, not a reality. A leopard doesn’t change his spots and the bad boy won't stop getting into drunken bar fights just because you bat your eyelashes at him.
I understand that he looks delicious in leather and is there anything better in the world than tattoos and puppies?
I think not. However, you wouldn’t want someone to try to tame you, and neither will he.
Not only will your bad boy balk against you trying to get him to calm down, but he’ll also resent you for it.
In the end, this will blow up in your face, despite the purest of intentions. You will be left exhausted and with a battered heart.
You know you know better. You know his reputation, and he is upfront about his intentions.
You are nothing more than a notch in his worn-out bedpost and he’ll just be a line in the Taylor Swift song to which you cry. It isn’t personal; it’s just who he is.
If he has slept with at least two-thirds of your friend group, then quit while you’re ahead.
I get it, we all want our very own Christian Grey; a guy to take us on gliding dates and one who stops sleeping his way through the Eastern Seaboard because we are what he's been secretly looking for.
If you measure your self-worth based on the guys you date, you’ll never be good enough.
If you can’t do casually, skip this guy before you get heartbroken or something that will stay with you a little longer… if you catch my drift.
The Guy Who Tries To Change You
It will start out subtly at first, with little comments about how you should try something new. This will blossom into remarks about your behaviors.
Wouldn’t you just be so much happier if you weren’t so messy? Wouldn’t your life have so much more meaning if you spent more time at home instead of out? Wouldn’t you rather order the salad and skip the fries?
You’ll find a way to convince yourself that this is just him caring about your well-being.
Snap out of it. Any guy who tries to change who you are should be exchanged for someone new.
If you wake up one day looking like a Lilly Pulitzer model with a mint julep in your hand instead of crowd surfing and dancing on rooftops like you were born to do, run.
The Novelty Guy (Opposites Attract, Right?)
Wrong. Of course, being your own person and having differing opinions is natural.
Dating someone you have nothing in common with just for the experience will be as frustrating as it is tedious. Every conversation will turn into a battle of wills.
If at the end of the day, you have completely different fundamental morals, values and goals, it just won't work.
It will be a constant battle over who is right and who is wrong.
Why do you think the kids up on Capitol Hill can’t compromise?
The Guy Who's Just Not That Into You
You’ve seen the movie, you know the deal. You are not the exception. The guy who seems disinterested is, nine out of 10, honestly disinterested.
If you are always the one making the plans, reaching out and getting blown off, you need to face the music.
He is just not that into you and probably never will be. Do not accept this as a challenge. Do not consider this guy a project. Just walk away.
You never want to feel like you have to talk someone into dating you; it should happen organically.
Instead of wasting your efforts on a person who fails to see how great you are, open yourself to someone worthy of your time.
We need to learn some lessons through experience. Sometimes the best realizations come from the rubble that surrounds us after a particularly tumultuous relationship ends.
We’ll walk away vowing to never do it again, recognizing our own strength and wishing we listened to the warnings.