There are too many people in this world who are oblivious to the situations presented before them, which is especially true when it comes to flirting and dating.
Maybe these people do know what's going on, but they're too stubborn, determined or desperate to accept it.
To those people, I've only got one thing to say: It's time for a harsh dose of reality.
If you have to question whether someone is interested or not, you likely already have your answer.
Why some people choose to ignore their gut instinct is beyond me, but we've all seen it happen and it's just not pretty.
Why do you want to pursue someone who's clearly not intrigued by you? Does the thrill excite you, or do you just really believe there's no one else out there for you?
I hope the latter isn't the case because there are 6.9 billion people in the world, so if someone rejects you, just move onto the next. Think of it as, well, practice.
If you need a little help figuring out the obvious, we've got just what you've been looking for.
1. I'm not flirting with you; I'm just being nice to you until my friends show up.
Just because you're having a pleasant conversation with someone does not mean you're flirting.
It's hard to find nice people these days, which is why your motives so often are misconstrued.
2. I didn't change my number; I'm just not responding.
The best response is no response, so if you have nothing nice to say, just don't say anything at all.
This may take multiple unanswered messages, but eventually, your point will be crystal clear.
3. I don't have a doctor's appointment after work; I just don't want to waste my calories drinking with you.
Can't ever argue with a doctor's appointment, now, can you?
4. Not texting you all day doesn't mean I'm playing the game; I just have nothing to say to you.
The answer lies in the silence. Let it sink in.
5. I'm not really going home; I'm just hiding from you at the other side of the bar.
Out of sight, out of mind. Hopefully this person doesn't realize the maneuver you just pulled.
6. I don't have to go to the bathroom, but I have to get away from you.
Excusing yourself to go to the bathroom is a foolproof excuse. At this point, your options are endless: You can actually go to the bathroom and return, or you can get the F out of the bar.
7. I'm not leading you on, but who's going to turn down a free drink?
I'm just doing you a favor by obliging to your request, aren't I?
8. I'm not kissing my friend to turn you on, I'm actually a lesbian (at least to your knowledge).
Maybe it's what I'm into, or maybe it's just an act, but to your knowledge, it's a lifestyle, so just walk away.
9. I didn't already have a drink; I just don't want to get stuck talking to you.
This is the alternate scenario of #7.
Often times, people resort to this because they're scarred from what happened the last time they accepted a drink from a stranger.
10. I'm not searching for you in a crowd; I just can't find my friends.
No, no, I wasn't looking for you... I was looking behind you.
11. I don't really have an emergency, but your breath is one.
I'd offer you some gum if I didn't think you'd take it as an invitation to stick around for longer.
12. I'm not waiting for you to make the first move; I'm just hoping you won't text me at all.
The lack of an initial text isn't a part of a game, it's my genuine disinterest.
13. I'm not asking "who is this?" to be mysterious; I just clearly had no interest in saving your number.
...Or remembering your name, for that matter.
14. I'm not trying to make you jealous by talking to other people, I'm just interested in them more than you.
This isn't a ploy to get more of your attention -- it's actually quite the opposite.
15. I'm not trying to give you a raincheck; I'm just hoping you'll eventually give up.
How many times can someone suggest plans and get rejected before giving up?
Apparently, they took a page from Lindsay Lohan's book because to them, the limit does not exist.
16. I'm not beating around the bush, I just feel bad you aren't getting the memo.
It's hard to flat-out tell someone you're not interested, but sometimes, you need to do just that.
17. I'm not making eye contact with you because I'm hoping you'll disappear.
Hey, a person can dream, right?
18. I'm not laughing at your jokes because you're funny; I'm laughing because I can't believe anyone would say these things.
There is a huge difference between laughing with someone and laughing at them.
19. I didn't order another drink because I wanted to keep talking, I just needed it to get through this awful conversation.
The only thing holding me back from throwing this drink in your face is the fact I need to chug it.
20. I'm not smiling because I like you; I'm smiling because some hottie just walked through the door and winked at me.
21. I didn't say "next time" to going home with you to gain your respect; I did it to get away from you as quickly as possible.
I'll be sure to never hit up this bar again. Thanks for the convo!