The 20 Sluttiest Things People Have Done

by Anonymous

Had a few slutty encounters lately? This is oftentimes an uncomfortable discussion topic, resulting in premature breakups when the less promiscuous partner catches wind of your extensive sexual history. Through College Candy we caught wind of this thread on Reddit.

Our team has had some random escapades on our journeys around the world, but some of these claims are downright hilarious. Here are 20 of the sluttiest things reddit users are willing to admit to.

1. Kaputaffe:

Hooked up with three chicks one halloween night … dressed as an oompa loompa!

2. S-hao:

Not me, but witnessed it- my friend got a handjob on a crowded club dance floor that was pretty dark. Blew his load all over some other guys back. The other dude didn't notice. The evil grin on my friends face, haunting…

3. Malcriao:

Threesome with two guys I had just met. On the beach.

4. Underthere:

In college my roommate and I once f*cked a pair of girls at the same time. I was in a lofted bed across from his bed: we reached across the gap to pound it but it was too far, so we ended up touching fingers like God and Adam at the Sistine Chapel.

5. Turdhats:

Successfully completed the coveted hat trick while I was in college – 3 females, 24 hours, all separate occasions

6. silverbolt89:

I was a freshman in college on my first marching band trip to our rival school. Now the football team and fans were always at each other's throats, but the bands were tight. Each year, the other school's band would visit for the football game and they would throw a party for the visiting band.

There's at least 300 people crammed in that band house after the game. I start drinking and chilling with friends, meeting new people and shit. I notice a group of girls crowded in the corner and they would sometimes glance over in my direction and turn back to the circle giggling. I was a SAP at that point and I only had a few flings in college so far, so I had no fucking clue how to handle this situation. Luckily, one of the seniors from my band saw what was going on and gave me the rundown:

The senior lady section leader of the other band pick a rookie member of my band as their target. The goal? The first person in his pants, wins. Wins what you say? Alpha-female status? I don't fucking know. Bottom line, I was the target, and everyone in my band knew it.

First girl comes on to me downstairs and we start making out. (Trombone section leader) After a while, she starts to lead me upstairs, but I am intercepted by the Piccolo section leader who brings me to the dance floor. She starts making out with me and puts my hand down her pants and starts feeling up my junk.

Trombone section leader comes back and I was expecting a cat fight. Wrong. She joins in. The night wears on as I start to “meet” new girls and each attempt is getting more aggressive. At around 3:00 in the morning, I get dragged into the coat room by the piccolo section leader. She pushed me down on a pile of coats and had her way with me.

When I came out of that room, everyone who was still awake cheered for me. On the bus ride home, I felt like a fucking champion. The next four years in band, my reputation was solidified as “man-whore”.

TL;DR Band girls are slutty

7. throwawayslutfucker:

Ok so this just happened last Friday. It's been about 7 months since I've had sex, and the dating scene wasn't going as expected. I got hammered while I was out drinking with buddies, and decided that I was getting laid that night.

I did what any not-at-all-self-respecting forever alone would have done – I hit Craigslist. For those who don't know, you don't search the “casual encounters” section on Craigslist when looking for casual sex because it is full of scammers.

My best option was a hail mary on the general romance section. I looked for the most casual post that I could find (it very simply stated that she wanted to go out for drinks), and that's who I emailed. She responded back immediately with her phone number, and from the moment she started speaking I knew that she was a mess.

We agreed that I would pick her up, since she didn't have a car. Upon picking her up, she offered a blow job but said that we couldn't go back to her place because she lived with her ex who was cheating on her (made no sense to me either, but I didn't really care). My place was out of the question because of roommates, so I paid for a cheap hotel (around $40), and a 12 pack of Coors light.

So here I am, in this hotel room, with a female janitor whose face eerily resembles Gene Simmons. She's completely wasted by this time (started drinking while waiting in the car for me to pay for the room), and spewing utterly incoherent nonsense. At one point she asks me to clean her toenails out with a key, because she likes when her boyfriend does that. Nope. Hell no. WTF?

Finally she gets down to business… but either she did not know how to give a blowjob, or she was so wasted that she thought my cock was an arcade joystick, because she continued to wag it back and forth like she was practicing her ultra combo. I stopped her, and asked to simply have sex instead. She agreed, laid on her back, and made this disturbing grunting noise as I fucked her.

I don't know how I managed to actually finish with this woman, but I did. I immediately got up, threw the condom away and got dressed. She was still yammering on about her ex when I stepped out of the hotel room without saying a word. I got a call from her a half hour later, after realizing that I left. She left a voicemail that stated, “I need your help, I'm locked inside the room.”

Never again.

8. phenguai:

I was on my way to being drunk at the bar when a cute girl started giving me “the eye”. We started dancing and eventually started making out on the dance floor (first time that had ever happened).

We made our way out to my car where we continued to make out. As we are about to leave, her friends come out and drag her away. Now, I had just been kissing her ear and apparently her earring had come off right as her friends were (literally) dragging her away. I didn't notice it at first, and she was gone so quick that I couldn't give it back to her, I just put it in my change tray and forgot about it.

Fast forward to about 2 months later, I pull up to a comedy club and as I am parking, she walks by. I don't know how I managed to recognize her,and I certainly didn't know her name, but I remembered that I had her earring in my change tray still. I ran up to her and said “excuse me!” and she said “yes…” and looked at me as if she obviously didn't recognize me.

I said “I think this is your earring” and she said “OMG where did you find that. I said “in my mouth” and we just stared at eachother blankly for a few moments. She nodded and looked at the ground while sticking out her hand. I gave it back silently and walked the other direction.

9. hypotyposis:

At a party when I was like 18, semi-drunk. Some girl I've never seen before comes up to me and say “my friend thinks your really cute.” I walk over and ask if she wants a beer and she says “I'm good, you're already good looking enough.” So I grab her hand and we go upstairs into the bathroom and fuck.

tl;dr fucked a girl about 90 seconds after meeting her

10. dspin153:

Had a threesome…the girls blew lines of coke off my penis (pretty short lines)…then off girls asses..they were making out and I went to get a drink… too drunk and high to think much of it but ended up walking past my living room with all 4 roommates playing mario cart fully erect…that was interesting

11. Skoomahead:

This isn't so much slutty as it is shameless. I was having sex with my ex-GF in her parents basement. Her Grandmother was in town and decided she needed to use the basement bathroom at 3:30 in the morning for some reason. She walks downstairs to see her Granddaughter getting her cervix punched by the head of my dick, doggy-style, by the nice blonde pail boy she had just eaten dinner with earlier.

My ex didn't notice Gram Gram on account of her facing the other way moaning into a pillow. Her grandma stood there stunned waiting for a reaction so i shrugged with one arm and mouthed “Sorry” but I didn't stop because I didn't want my GF to know. Next morning her grandma acts like it didn't happen and my ex was none the wiser. raises Mead-horn in graditude to Odin

12. I_Throwaway_Sluts:

My teacher was always really flirty with me, and would ask me to do things that he thought I wouldn't notice as “I like your tits so do this” such as making me shake spray paint for longer than usual, melting the nails into place while he held them from the other side (boobs RIGHT in his face) I would make a point to wear extra cleavage on the days I had had his class. Every time I work on an engine now I get horny, thinking of him.

He's unmarried, so I had zero guilt. I'd wear short plaid skirts, and bend over his desk to grab something. One of the days he made me hold some huge piece of metal, which consisted of me wrapping my arms around it, while he was getting dents out.

My hands happened to be wedged up against his crotch, and I looked up at him and gave him my best sex face, and teased him until he completely fucked up the metal because he wasn't paying attention. Doing naughty things in public gets me off, and this was in the middle of class. Seeing him from time to time sends shivers down my spine, and I have an ultimate teacher fetish because of him.

High school was the best four years of my life because of him.

13. siregan:

I can sympathize. After prom I went to this great after party. I thought it was just going to be a few good friends and some 151, but little did I know I'm a fucking retard. So, I start at it and two hours in I'm trashed beyond comprehension.

When I get that way I get incredibly suggestible… Incredibly. So this one girl there, a biggy with nice eyes, is just raising hell screaming and crying for no reason. Well, then she vomits. We give her some water and she clears up enough to walk to her bed for the night. Well… Almost. I got the privilege of walking with her to ensure she falls the fuck asleep. Well I set her in bed and tell her good night. She starts crying and saying that I hate her and I want to leave her (all very true at that point).

So, I tell her no, no and sit on the edge of her bed finishing my drink. She then says she wants me to join her because she's cold and doesn't want to fall asleep alone. I, for whatever reason, thought that was an amazingly innocent and possibly good idea.

Well I get in bed and she starts kissing me and I start back. Then she pulls off my pants and starts blowing me. Well, she's wasted so her teeth slip in every once in a while so I'll moan, which she mistakes for me telling her she's doing a good job. She continues this for half an hour (I checked the clock across the room cuz I got bored).

Over that time, 3 of my friends walk in on me on three occasions. I start to go limp, but then she goes for gold and tries to deep throat. Well… She got more than she bargained for and choked. Most girls would gag and open up and let you pull out. She bit down like a motherfucker. I screamed as her best friend walked in. She fell off the bed and I was ashamed and suddenly sober. The next morning her other friend slapped me at breakfast.

TL;DR: a fat drunk girl blew me after prom and nearly bit my dick off as her friend walked in on us.

Edit: my friend pointed out that I didn't get off. Forgot to mention that :/

14. peppermin_synapse:

I went to a top Ivy League school by some stroke of luck. When I arrived, I was sexually frustrated and had only lightly kissed a boy. I was pretty hot at that point in time (thin, blonde, doll-faced, tan), but I was also a SAP. The other problem is that throughout my entire life, I have never been attracted to men my age. They have to be at least 7-8 years older. So all of the undergrad guys were out of the question. This left no one for me to hook up with, given my inability to non-awkwardly meet anyone older.

One day, at the start of my sophomore year, I was perusing Craigslist as this is part of my daily internet ritual. Usually I just check the Missed Connections, but something that day led me to check the Men-Seeking-Women section. I happened across an ad from a guy saying that he was a teacher (of sorts), and that he fantasized about finding a student to “teach,” though he had never been brave enough.

My heart raced. Here was the type of situation that I had fantasized about for years. Initially, I intended to just send him some teasing emails to blow off a little titillating steam. But turns out that his writing was really sexy. And that I was really horny.

After many exchanged dirty emails, photographs (with faces blurred), it came to light that he was actually a professor at the same university I attended. Now keep in mind that student-professor relationships were strictly forbidden.

But we decided that we needed to go ahead with it anyway. At this point, we were sending dozens of emails a day and I couldn't think about anything else other than fucking this guy. We decided that we needed to see each other in person. We started telling each other where we'd be and which coffee shop we'd be working in, so that we could show up and ogle each other from across the room. We never talked… too much risk since we both knew plenty of people around the area.

Finally, we decided that we had to have each other. I didn't tell a single soul about my Professor. I snuck him through my shared suite and into my private bedroom. There, we talked, in person, for the first time since “meeting” each other four months prior. We said only a few words before we started furiously making out.

What followed was a torrid, frenzied nine-month affair. I gave my first blow job, lost my virginity on the floor of the library. Snuck him into my room almost every day, after having developed a complex system of secret signals and code emails. Wore my high school plaid-skirt uniform and let him wear his suit and tie and put me over his lap and spank me. Tied him up, got tied up. Smeared nutella all over his naked body. Got bent over the book stacks, hearing other students walking around on the same floor, fucked from behind.

It was many months before I even found out his (incredibly sexy) name. Eventually, he took a job at another university, and I settled down with a long-term boyfriend. No one ever found out.

But that professor is still the stuff of my hottest fantasies.

15. UncleTogie:

I'd had a few similar moments, but the one that sticks out the most was when a friend of mine and I were busy with our girlfriends, dining at the Great American Pink Taco Stand in the same room. For some weird reason, my troll-brain took over and I popped my head up and asked the room in an overenthusiastic voice, “Anyone up for a game of tennis?”

My friend thought this was hilarious, and immediately started laughing… right into her honey-box. About a half-second later came the funniest queef I think I'll ever hear… For the life of me, it sounded like it was laughing back at him… The room erupted in belly-laughs, sexytime was cancelled due to mirth, and all was amusing in the kingdom.

tl;dr: Sport spoils sex.

16. stout-heart:

In high school I went to my Gf's house. She was there with four of her friends. One being her gay friend. The girls all agreed that if I let him fuck me in the ass, I could fuck all the girls. Let me just say I got to nail all the girls that night.

P.S. That asshole went for 45 minutes on my ass

17. HexxVonDoom:

Had. a dick sucking contest with a friend of mine, to see who could get the respective random dude off faster. Stood up with a mouthful of jiz, amd a grin in 2 minutesflat..Yep..

EDIT I am female, reasonably attractive, or so my mirror tells me, the “contest” was performed in front of everyone so there could be no cheating, and both men had at least been laid that day once. Now, its not like we were overly concerned about the proper scientific way of running this, since, well, we were drunk..

18. I_may_be_crazy:

In my days as a drug dealer a lot of freaky shit happened. During a time I was selling a lot of extacy and coke, I was living with two strippers. They were hot as hell, and my best custies. One night after work they brought a half dozen of their coworkers home.

Apparently they were bragging about my cunilinguistic skills at work, and one of their lesbian coworkers wanted to take the Pepsi challenge. She didn't believe a guy could be as good at licking pussy as a woman. A room full of strippers watched as I got her off. The scene descended into a full scale drug-fueled orgy pretty quick. By the time it was all over I'd stuck my dick in 8 women.

19. ImHavingABaadDay:

Obvious throw away is obvious.

Well.. Here goes nothing.

I went to a swingers club with some friends one night. It's a pretty fun club, I'd been there a few times before. So I get there, strip down to my undies and start prowling. I had been on a really bad date earlier so I was looking for some action.

I spot this group of three handsome as fuck guys in their underwear with masks on. So I start to eyefuck them.

Eventually I got hot and went and laid by the pool outside when they came over. We conversed. One guy in particular and I really got to talking. My friend comes out and finds us and brings us all back in. I start dancing with this guy and we begin to make out.

I leaned over to my friend and told her, “I'm going to go sleep with him.” She gave me the thumbs up.

So I dragged him outside to the pool, pulled off his underwear, he pulled off mine, and we just started to go at it. Eventually we had a crowd around us, including a few very creepy old men wanking. Made no mind. We continued like pros.

Later after my friends left I stayed. We went back out by the pool for round two. Only had 2 wanking guys that time.

There are photos somewhere. And videos. Awesome. Oh and he's a detective.

TL;DR I fucked a German cop at a swinger's club in front of numerous people, twice. There are photos and videos.

20. walkingpoof:

Oh, well. If I eventually have to make a new username, I will.

1. Threesome with two dudes with girlfriends. One of the girlfriends was passed out in the next room. :(

2. Blew three different dudes at one party. One in the bathroom, one outdoors, and one in his bedroom.

3. Sex with friend's then fiancé, now husband, in front of her and our other close female friend. (Totally okay with all involved!)

Via Reddit