We may have met once or twice, and I probably responded to your texts every now and then, but it wasn’t ever consistent.
You probably kept texting because you thought maybe, in time, I might respond. And, sometimes I did. Sometimes I would agree to go out with you again.
But, then, the same pattern would ensue.
After a while, I stopped all communication. You probably haven’t been rejected before; you’re usually the one to reject, so you wondered what the hell happened. The truth is, I just wasn’t interested.
It’s probably hard to believe since I led you on for the longest time, but just like many men before you, there was a whole list of reasons as to why I couldn't be with you.
1. You were, simply put, boring.
There was nothing exciting happening in your life. You went to work; you watched Netflix, and you went to bed.
That’s the life I want when I’m 80, not when I’m 22.
2. You texted me, “Hey.”
How am I supposed to respond to that? Saying, “Hey,” doesn’t start a conversation. You know what starts a conversation? A sentence.
3. You couldn’t hold a conversation.
Not only could you not properly text, but you also couldn’t even keep up a conversation. Tell me something interesting. I don’t want to just hear about your job all day. I can hear that any day. Your silence was killer.
4. You drank too much.
Don’t get me wrong; I love to drink. But, that’s all you did. And, when you did talk, that’s all you talked about.
Does anything besides alcohol interest you on the weekends? For example, do I?
5. You have the worst party skills.
Seriously, dude, you’re the worst at parties. You’re definitely not the life of the party, but you like to act like it.
There’s more to partying than drinking, like having conversations. Wait, why does all of this sound familiar?
6. You only had one thing on your mind…
… And even that sounded less than exciting with you.
7. You had never been out of the country.
How could you have not been out of the country?! You could have even passed off going to Mexico or Canada and that would have qualified.
In today's world, who doesn't want to travel?
8. You were awkward.
I’m an awkward person, so for me to say you are awkward means something. But, man, you could take any situation and make it incredibly odd.
9. Your friends sucked.
Your friends were an exact replica of you, which isn’t shocking, but it definitely showed you also had a poor choice of friends.
You couldn’t even befriend anyone outside of your field?
10. You complained, a lot, about nothing.
All you did when you spoke was complain. Something always was wrong with your day, which doesn't constitute holding a conversation. It's just being annoying.
11. You see the world in a bad light.
You look down on people in third world countries; you wouldn’t even save your BFF if he or she became homeless. Who says that?!?!
12. You have no goals in life.
You just want money, but you don’t care where you work. This led me to wonder whether you cared about anything. You probably didn't.
13. You couldn’t raise a goldfish if you tried.
You once told me all of your goldfish died. I know this shouldn’t be a deciding factor in anything, and I totally wasn’t looking for marriage, but if you couldn’t keep a goldfish alive, can you keep anything alive?
14. You only ate chicken and vegetables.
I’m not saying all men should be able to cook, but at this stage in life, eating the same thing every day is pretty awful. Just like our “relationship.”
15. You didn’t want to get to know me.
The real reason I never got back to you is because you didn’t even try to get to know me. And, maybe you never wanted to, but a common courtesy is to at least learn something about me to impress me even a tiny bit. You couldn’t even do that!!
And, you really had to wonder why I never got back in touch with you?