7 Things Women Should Stop Justifying, To Themselves And Everyone Else
So many of us women are all consumed with the dead-end idea of attaining societal perfection, and it's a brutally dangerous trap pulling us further into the ground.
We're constantly bombarded by the beautiful mirage of seemingly sinless celebrities who appear to exist off nothing but mere chia seed smoothies and gluten-free, vegan, farm-raised, soy-free, dairy-free, organic, locally sourced kale salads.
We feel the hot waves of remorse washing over the entirety of our bodies after accidentally glancing at a diet soda in the fluorescent light glow of a late-night deli.
We forget the bevy of raw-food-ingesting beauties who gaze blankly at us from the shiny pages of People Magazine have vehement control over the way in which the media portrays them, and they too sport a secret laundry list made up of regretful one-night stands and whiskey-induced mistakes. After all, to be human is to be flawed. No one (not even Gwyneth) is that perfect.
In fact, are the things we allow ourselves to shame spiral over really so bad? We're all relatively new to the fine world, and the best way in which to learn how to navigate the ever-complex planet is through trial and error, right?
Even if our behavior isn't exactly concurrent with the likes of Ms. Universe – why are we riddled with this irrepressible desire to incessantly justify our behavior to the outer masses? Why are our haphazard decisions anyone's business but our very own?
How can we lead free and fulfilling lives when we're constantly exhausted from coming up with creative ways to excuse our actions? What if we threw caution to the wind and dared to OWN IT?
Abandon the tired notion of "perfection" (news flash: It doesn't exist) and get real.
Let's dare to quit justifying the following:
1. Our Number Of Sexual Partners
Why, dear WHY do we feel it necessary to make sweeping justifications regarding the number of people we’ve had sex with?
We’re constantly attempting to water our number down by vehemently writing half of our list off as nothing but reckless, hyper-intoxicated mistakes or the result of the unresolved abandonment issues that took place in our damaged childhoods.
Really, who cares what are our number is? Our sex lives are strictly our own business, and if we so desire to discuss our numbers of partners — let’s own that number with an honorable, life-affirming pride.
F*ck the excuses because we f*cked whom we f*cked, and it isn’t worth an ounce of our precious, oh-so-limited time on the ever-ticking planet to justify that number out of fear of being judged by supercilious idiots.
2. Not Being Romantically Interested
Just because someone is really, truly feeling all that is you – doesn’t mean you’re required to feel something back. When I was a young kitten, I used to feel obligated to date anyone who expressed mild interest in dating me.
If I wasn’t attracted to the person, I would be wracked with an all-consuming guilt and resort to self-blame because CLEARLY there must be something wrong with me to turn down a willing suitor.
Girls — we don’t need to justify not wanting a relationship when courted, regardless of how “perfect” the romancer appears to our friends and family.
We don’t need to indulge in pretty white lies by saying we have “trust issues” or “are afraid,” or we “just need to be alone right now.” If you’re not “feeling” it — that’s reason enough.
3. Not Being 95 Lbs
Enough with this “I just don’t have time to work out; I have a thyroid problem; I just got back from vacation” bullsh*t.
It doesn’t matter that you don’t replicate the painfully impossible standard of beauty that ruthlessly invades our sore eyes from the altar of billboards and magazines, so STOP justifying it.
Own your size — for there is nothing sexier on the planet than being comfortable in your skin.
4. Being 95 Lbs
The business of beauty has gotten us girls so deliriously f*cked up. We must remember this is absolutely intentional. It’s the industry’s way of manipulating us into feeling terrible about ourselves, so we will, in turn, buy things we don’t need.
It's consumerism at its worst, and naturally thin girls are constantly knocked down by a fist of mixed messages. The industry lectures you that to be beautiful is to be thin. Moments later, it shames you for being skinny.
F*ck that. Let go of the whole “I’m trying to gain weight; I have a fast metabolism; I’m mega stressed” malarkey.
Remember this: Beauty is health. Healthy comes in a plethora of sizes, so as long as you’re treating your body like the sacred temple it is, you're beautiful.
5. Not Wanting Children
Let's get REAL, real fast: We don’t all want the same things out of this precious life, and that's OK. It’s actually kind of great, for it gives the otherwise dull planet the sparkle of diversity.
I understand society has made all of us feel as if we’re missing an essential female chip for not wanting children, but I think that's f*cked up, and we need to work together to challenge that repressive notion.
If you don’t want children, simply don’t have them. You’re still a warm, loving, wonderful, fabulous and FEMININE woman.
You don’t need to sprinkle sugar on the truth by earnestly claiming you have a family history of mental health problems, or your finances aren’t in proper order for motherhood, or you will think about it when once in a stable relationship; we’re just happy you’re choosing a path that makes you happy. So own it, sister.
6. Not Wanting To Be A Career Woman
It’s ultra-fabulous the world is telling women we can be the reigning QUEEN GIRL BOSS of the universe, however, you can still be a liberated, forward-thinking babe of the universe while choosing to stay at home with your children.
Feminism is doing whatever the hell you want, unabashedly living a life packed with personal happiness and wonderful fulfillment.
7. For Recklessly Spending Heaps Of Our Own Money
I'm not trying to tumble into a downward spiral of gender comparisons, BUT rarely do I ever hear a man justify spending his own hard-earned money on cars, steaks, salacious trips with the boys, rounds of top-shelf tequila and whatever else it is the male species likes to indulge its funds in.
Women, however, are constantly justifying spending their own hard-earned money on things that give them pleasure.
“I NEEDED these shoes.” “It WAS A BARGAIN.”— Girls, please kindly slow your roll and bask in the beauty of your purchases.
You work hard, and we trust your judgment in how you spend your own funds. We trust you're doing what fulfills you – and we want you to be happy and free.