A Case For (Or Against) Women Proposing To The Men In Their Lives

by Niki McGloster

Traditionally, the woman waits with bated breath for 'The Moment' when her partner pops the question. Recently, however, more women are receiving attention and kudos for asking for their guys' hands in marriage, even getting down on bended knee.

Personally, I clutch my imaginary pearls at visions of proposing to any guy. Although being chosen as someone's wife sits atop my list of #RelationshipGoals, my low-maintenance side would trade an over-the-top proposal for a “Let’s just do this” chat over breakfast in bed.

Like any new practice, the upheaval of a long-standing tradition leaves us curious with questions: Is a woman who proposes to her fiancé seen as desperate? Is the power of Tinder swipes and asking men out on just a date not enough? Are we taking the race to gender equality too seriously?

The idea isn't all that ridiculous if you think about it.

A friend of mine recently confessed when asked about the subject:

If my boyfriend and I are together for close to a decade and my ring finger is still naked, I wouldn't mind proposing to him. I have no problem setting aside my pride and asking my best friend to spend the rest of his life with me, so long as the time is right for both of us.

Taken this way, perhaps I am too quick to dismiss the unconventional approach as "weird" and "wrong." If you're less concerned with following society's arbitrary gender rules, then what really is the big deal? Maybe I, for once, am The Conservative One (gasp!)?

It's important to consider what he wants too.

So, you're getting tired of waiting or you want to surprise him instead -- just be totally sure he is as open-minded as you or doesn't have something in mind already.

Jozen Cummings, relationship expert and dating reporter for the New York Post, who vows to chronicle his dating experiences until he gets married, gives a valid POV to Elite Daily:

“I would prefer to be the one who gets on my knee and asks her to be my wife rather than the other way around. Women may not believe this but guys too imagine what that moment will look like far before they actually do it, just like a woman might imagine what her wedding gown is going to look like long before she tries one on. So if my girlfriend proposed to me she would be taking away a moment I've been waiting to experience my whole life."

So, what would his answer be?

“I wouldn't like her proposing to me, but I wouldn't love her less for it...I'm always going to be the man in her life and that means I must always protect her and keep her safe. That doesn't change just because she would get on a knee.”

A quick guide to putting a ring on it

If you're not hung up on tradition hangups, here's tips on popping the question to your guy:

Loosen up. Even men have confessed to sipping on some spirits before going for it.

Pull a "Meet the Fockers." Talk to his parents beforehand. They're gonna freak out, too, so just roll with the punches.

Go big or go home (alone). Major fanfare may frighten him, but it's best to pull out all the stops and do it right, just like he would.

Have celebratory sex. Don't freak out after you've finally done the hard part. Release your adrenaline in the bedroom where he still runs the show.

Talk to his bromantic interests. Your impatience could spoil his already-scheduled proposal, so ask his bros about it. Your diamond ring could be closer than you think.

Women are complex, multi-layered forces who’ve dragged their men down the aisle in our own Eve-like ways for centuries. But that’s the beauty of being us: we don’t have to beg for what we want in every situation.