Gentlemen, the time has come. We all knew this day would arrive eventually, when our masculinity would only carry us so far in this world. It has been thousands of years in the making (longer than 6,000 you science-rejecting fool), but we are now living in the age when our companions are gaining traction to stand equal to us…if not higher. No, I am not talking about our dogs (as awesome as that would be); I am talking about women - beautiful, menstruating women.
The time has come for us to accept women as more than our sexual conquests and caregivers, and as equal partners in shaping the future of our planet. We are living in a time when the social constructs of gender, masculinity, and femininity are crashing down in every corner of the globe. Just as we must accept the LGBT community, we must accept what has historically been deemed the “lesser sex.”
What? That's not enough for you? Fine! Here are some more reasons we need to rally around the badass women in our lives:
Figured this would grab your attention. Have you ever had sex with a mentally strong, powerful woman? I have, and it is INCREDIBLE. A woman, who is truly comfortable with herself, knows what she wants in life and is, by God, going to get it no matter what. A woman who does not see a stereotypical female archetype when she looks in the mirror; she sees a determined individual ready to destroy all that stands in her path to achieve her life’s goal, whether it is to become CEO of a Fortune 500, a famous artist, or an astronaut (everybody should want to be an astronaut).
This woman knows who she is, and where she is going. She is not the woman you see in the movies or read about in disgusting snuff novels like the ones my 60-year-old mother reads. This woman is a fighter. Now take all the drive and passion a man is expected to have, and add a woman who also has that same level of drive and passion, which women equally have but may have had it suppressed until now. Put them in bed together. Boom-shaka-laka. I am just saying, if ever men needed a reason to push for the fair and equal treatment of women, ridiculous sex alone should be enough.
It would make Mom proud
Do you love your mother? Of course you do. People who don’t love their mothers don’t know how to read. It’s science. Do you think your mother would appreciate the fact you are objectifying women and attempting to keep them down, however passive it might be? No. She’d beat the sh*t out of you. Or at least my mother would. My own mother would beat the sh*t out of you. She’s a sixth-degree black belt. Deal with it.
In the same sense, if you have a daughter, would you not want her to have all the same opportunities as your son might have? Would you not want her to achieve her greatest potential?
What about your wife or girlfriend? Would you not want her to make as much as, or even more than, you? Does more money for your significant other not basically mean more money for you, assuming the two of you share finances and perks? You know what would look real nice in the driveway right now? A boat. You know how you can afford a boat? Make more money. You know the easiest way for that to happen, assuming you already have a half decent job that doesn’t involve fryer grease and processed “meat”? Having a partner to share the bills with.
They can do what they want
These past few years have been marred with a much-needed battle between pro-choice and “pro-life.” It amazes me when I see that state representatives debating the need to block abortions are predominantly male - fat, white males. Now, correct me if I’m wrong - biology was not my strong suit - but men do not have vaginas. So why the hell are men taking the forefront in debating what women should be doing with their reproductive organs?
Would we allow women to tell us what to do with our penises? Hell no. (Although I have many friends who have had their testicles removed and put in a purse.) We don’t even let men tell us what to do with our penises (unless you take the phrases “sit on it” and “suck it” literally). So where do these men get off thinking they can tell a woman what she can and cannot do with her body? Look, the only time a man has a say in whether or not a woman can have an abortion is if the potential child is his. And that is limited to, say, twenty-percent max. Every argument you have against that is invalid if your reproductive organs are not tucked neatly and safely inside of you.
Human rights, ya’ll
The United States, until proven otherwise, is still the leader of the world. Our soft power has become just as influential as our hard power, and the many people throughout the world still look to how we conduct ourselves for inspiration. If women in suppressed regions of the world (looking at you, Saudi) see that men here support our women and will stand beside them in the fight for fair and equal representation in all forms of media and commerce, it will inspire them to do the same. We can affect hundreds of millions of women across the globe, encourage them to throw off the shackles of oppression and rise up and demand equal rights where they do not exist. Powerful Arab chicks are hot, just saying. Look at the Queen of Jordan.
I am not saying that all women do not want to raise a family and cook and clean for “their man.” I was raised in the south. But all women should have every opportunity granted to them as men do so they can freely choose their path without being pressured into socially constructed roles of gender.
The bottom line is, keep the women in your life happy, and you will be happy. Support them in every endeavor and have their back when others come around trying to put them in a box. We are all stronger together.
And don’t mess with my Mom.
Top Photo Credit: Getty Images