Why I Will Never Have A Male Gynecologist

by Nora Moore

Freshly showered? Check.  New underwear? Check. Legs shaved? Check. Cute pedi? Check.

Yes, I'm going on a date my OBGYN.

Let's face it, ladies. A trip to the gynecologist warrants just as much, if not more, prep than seeing our boo. I even spritz on perfume and use my good lip gloss for the occasion.

All my life I've had a female gynecologist. I will NEVER have a male gynecologist. Why? It's just weird to me. I would never be comfortable with it. I'm pretty sure I'd say something dumb while he was down there, like, "Sooo, are you a Lakers fan?"

Women always say, “My male gyno understands me. He really listens to me, and cares.” Are ya’ll still falling for that one?!

Having worked in the medical field for eight years, I’ve heard the professional guy talk. I don’t care if a man is married, gay, or an OB…few men will turn down the chance to see a hoo-ha.  Male gynos have outsmarted the bankers and engineer dudes; they get to look at va-jay-jays daily and get paid for it.

I know many women are pleased with their male gynecologist, but here's why a male gyno just ain't happening for me:

1. Professional code my ass!

He's still a man. On any given night, I'm sure every guy has a few Patron shots with his buddies, and the coochie stories start flowing.

2. Awkward moments.

I know I'd laugh on spot the moment a male gyno says, "I'm gonna need you to take your clothes off.”  Or what if he's doing my breast exam and a Babyface song comes on? Maybe I'm immature, but little things like that would definitely make me cringe.

3. I'm a prude.

Yes, I parade around in a bikini regularly, but when it comes to seeing me naked, there are only a select few males in that club. Just because he went to med school doesn't give him a free pass to my gates. Penises don't have college degrees. At the end of the day, he's still a dude.

4. Women understand.

I can't bring myself to talk about already sensitive topics to someone who hasn't, or doesn't have, the ability to experience them.  Menstrual cycle, pushing out a baby, vaginal discharge, sore nipples ...really Dr. Man, you wanna talk about this stuff?

5. Feeling like a hooker.

I don't want some dude to see me naked, feel me up, send me home alone, and then slap me with a bill for it.

I am sure male gynecologists get the job done and are awesome at what they do - it's just not my preference.

My female gyno has been through one of my deliveries, a divorce, and countless pap smears with me.  When I go to her office, all we need are tapas and a DJ, and it's like a girl’s night out.  I feel like I can talk to her about anything.  There is never anything "routine" about my regular check ups. If I'm going to be getting naked with a man in a small, badly lit room, it definitely won't be with my doc!

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