Yay! You're preggers! How extremely exciting.
Your body is making some crazy changes, as I'm sure you've noticed. And while your due date approaches, you might start considering whether or not you'd like to breastfeed.
Yes, it's weird having a tiny human suck on your boobs, a place that was once considered sexy. It's also completely awesome knowing you're providing nutrients to help your little one grow.
Here are some things to expect should you choose to breastfeed:
1. It shouldn't hurt.
Many women complain that breastfeeding hurts. If so, they're doing it wrong.
If you're able to take a class, you should. You will learn which position works best and how to work in sync with your kid.
Also, get some lanolin. It really helps with chaffed and cracked nipples. (Yeah, that happens.)
2. Your boobs will look like something on National Geographic.
Yes, really. Something happens to your boobs. They get darker; the nipples get bigger, and you literally can't even with your DDDs.
Some women love having the engorged va-va-voom to plump up their shirts. Other women with bigger breasts cheer with relief when they pump or breastfeed; they can actually see over their chests.
3. Breastfeeding is good for recovery.
In the days after delivery, you'll find that pumping and/or breastfeeding does some crazy things to your bod. When you release milk, you will feel your uterus contract.
This may lead to some nasty sh*t in your granny panties, but whatever. The more your uterus contracts, the faster you'll recover.
You'll also feel a little less bloated and gassy. Hey, no one said child birth was sexy.
4. You get MILF-y fast.
The average mom will make about 24 to 28 ounces of breast milk a day. It takes about 500 calories to make that much milk.
Isn't that so much easier than going to the gym? But, make sure you're eating extra calories to make up for it, and don't forget to stay hydrated.
5. Your body will be MILF-y, but your boobs might sag.
While breastfeeding and pumping is awesome for your body and baby, it might take a toll on your bra. Often, moms are left with sad, saggy boobs.
It's okay. You grew and birthed a human.
6. It gives you girl power.
There's something super powerful about breastfeeding. Whether it's at home or strolling through Target, you get all Superwoman on everyone.
While anyone can give a baby a bottle, you are creating the momma juice.
7. It's great for bonding.
During feeding time, it feels so intimate being with your baby. It's a great excuse to tell visitors to leave, and it's a great time to take a cat nap.
When your baby is feeding and locking eyes with you, something magical happens. Babies can sense if we are stressed, so take this time to get into a good mental space.
Try to relax, and let the good vibes in.
8. Your boobs might leak in public.
Okay, this one is seriously weird. When you're out and about running errands, the sound of a baby crying might send your tits into Niagara Falls mode. It's just bizarre.
It happened to me during the one hour I took for myself a few weeks postpartum.
Checking out at a store and realizing your shirt is wet is up there as one of the most embarrassing moments ever. Damn, kid.
9. Poops are less stinky.
Hooray for less stinky poops! I've heard from multiple people that breastfed babies have less stinky diapers. Formula-fed babies seem to have a little odor.
While neither will clear the room yet, it's a nice little plus. Once you introduce foods, forget it; you're screwed.
10. It has health benefits.
I'm not doctor, so I can't speak to any of the medial benefits of breastfeeding. But, here are some benefits according to professionals.
Remember, not all moms are able to breastfeed, and that's okay, too. If that happens to be you, don't get discouraged; it's not your fault.
To those of you joining the pump club, welcome. It's weird, wacky and wonderful.