Sitting in a dive bar somewhere in the East Village, about four whiskey sodas and a huge bar tab deep, my good friend nonchalantly told me she uses the pull-out method as a primary form of birth control.
“I just don't like all the hormones from the Pill. They make me gain weight.” She said, flipping her hair like the most basic bitch on planet earth.
I replied with all of the finesse of Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein," “You know what else makes you gain weight? Pregnancy.”
What scared me was that this wasn't the first time a friend admitted to me that she used the pulling-out method, or coitus interruptus, as her sole means of pregnancy prevention.
It turns out, while the idea of pulling out is somewhat taboo, it's a lot more common than you think.
As reported by NY Mag in “No Pill? No Problem. Meet The Pullout Generation,” a survey conducted by Dr. Annie Dude, a researcher at Duke University reported that nearly one in three women between the the ages of 15-24 has used the pulling-out method as her primary form of birth control.
That adds up to a lot of women! The problem is, it's really stupid to practice this method of birth control.
No matter what excuses you make to yourself about “hormones” and “mood swings” and other side effects that inevitably come along with other forms of birth control, you're going to end up knocked up.
What it comes down to is control. You alone control your body. Don't give that kind of power to someone else.
The pulling-out method might be just fantastic for guys who want to get their dick wet sans condom, but it really, truly sucks for women.
It's really not that effective.
According to Planned Parenthood, “Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, four will become pregnant each year if they always do it correctly.
Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 27 will become pregnant each year if they don't always do it correctly.”
Those numbers don't seem so aggressive, right? Four out of a 100 women if they always pull out correctly. Except, those numbers are actually really high.
That's a 4 percent chance of pregnancy whereas, on the Pill, there is a 1 percent chance of pregnancy. And, what's more, that is if it's “done correctly” every single time this method is used.
Planned Parenthood calls pulling out “Safe, simple and effective,” but only if the partners display great self-control and trust. How many people do you know who can display full self-control upon orgasm?
Let's talk about pre-cum, okay?
Pre-cum, or pre-ejaculate, is a bodily fluid that leaks from the penis during sexual intercourse.
One thing I've heard through the usual chatter of female friends was the inaccurate notion that pre-cum cannot get you pregnant. Newsflash, yes it can.
A 2011 study found live sperm in the pre-ejaculate of one-third of the 27 subjects analyzed. Meaning that pre-cum does indeed contain the necessary ingredients to make a baby.
Yes, Kanye, I am completely serious.
What about when you have sex multiple times?
When it comes to effectiveness during multiple sexual acts, sperm can become trapped in the urethra, making impregnating a woman more likely if the couple chooses to engage in sex for a second or third time.
If the man urinates after sex, the chances of impregnating his partner decrease.
Does this sound at all safe, easy and effective to you? Yeah, I didn't think so.
It's messy as hell.
Even if you're on the Pill or have an IUD, pulling out sucks. It gets literally everywhere. Your boyfriend's love juice is thick, gross and slimy.
Medical Daily points out that Spermine, the compound found in sperm is actually really good for your skin. In fact, it is 30 times more effective than vitamin E and can delay the process of aging by 20 percent.
While that is very cool and I definitely throw a fist pump to nature (You go, nature!) it would probably be best to invest in some sperm-infused cream rather than double your hump session as a skincare regime.
You're giving up control of your body.
When you subscribe to coitus interruptus, you're putting a lot of faith in your partner's ability and willingness to be careful and responsible enough to do it correctly every single time. That means you are putting the safety of your body into someone else's hands.
This just doesn't sit well with me. A woman's body is her business and its safety should be her concern, no one else's. You should trust your boyfriend, that's great, that's healthy but he should not be the ultimate dictator in whether or not you bear a f*cking child.
Honestly, if you're so against hormones and don't want to be on the Pill, get an IUD! It's not that hard, girl.
I get it, it causes bleeding and don't even get me started on how much condoms suck... but you know what would suck more than using a condom? Having an unplanned pregnancy.
You are not safe from STDs.
Coitus interruptus does not prevent sexually-transmitted diseases. The only thing that will effectively protect you is a latex condom. This is a cold, hard fact.
You're basically barred from one-night stands.
Forget all the fun of a drunken hookup. If you're subscribing to the pull-out method, you're not having one-night stands.
Remember all of that trust stuff we talked about earlier? That no longer exists. Are you going to let some complete stranger take your entire future into his sloppy hands?
Say you do use a condom, if you can use one now, why can't you use one always? I get it, they dry you out like the Sahara f*cking Desert, but there are some things you just have to do to protect yourself.
Also, think about all of the things that can go wrong when someone you don't know puts a condom on.
Breaking, wrong size condom, forgetting to leave air in the tip. Think about the odds of someone f*cking up a condom while intoxicated. Just think that one over.