I dare you to find a woman who loves herself completely -- every inch, every hair, every detail and every angle of herself. I dare you to find a woman who doesn’t want to change one thing, isn’t jealous of one person and who isn’t completely and utterly absorbed with fixing at least one thing about herself.
I’m not sure if men are this way, but women have the tendency to find one thing wrong with themselves and harp on it for the rest of their lives. They also have a tendency to be jealous of every woman, love every woman, see every woman and accept every woman... with the exception of themselves.
We only see women on the street with things we don’t have. The women with boyfriends, long hair, straight hair, tan legs, skinny arms, tiny waists -- and we wish we were them. We assume they have better lives because they have that one thing we want. They have the thing we’d give our soul for, trade for without a second thought. They have bigger boobs and smaller hands, so they must be happier.
Ladies, what you forget to realize is that the woman whose life you are longing for is just another woman who is longing for something else. She would trade her long legs for your high cheekbones. She would give her beautiful blonde locks for your curves. She would give her model height for a boy who didn’t cheat on her.
No woman, like no man, is perfect. No woman is genuinely and completely content with herself. It’s a curse I’m not sure we’ll ever fully break, but we can learn to live with it.
We can learn that the women we are jealous of are women with their own flaws. Because while she may have something you really want, you also have something that someone else would love to have. So for all of you wallowing in your flaws and your spite, remember that you're spending your time envying a woman who is spending her time envying someone else because no woman truly has everything.
The one with the boyfriend
Okay, so she has a boyfriend. You had one once, too, and you weren’t perfect. You also have no idea what kind of relationship it really is. She may be settling, she may be going through his text messages because he has a tendency to text her friends or maybe she’s madly in love him and he’s going to break her heart when someone better comes along.
Whatever the case, she’s not better than you because she gets to share a bed with someone on Tuesday nights, she’s just got what you don’t have right now.
One day, you will have one again and maybe she won’t. One day you’ll be the girl in the passenger seat of his car as other girls walk by and wish they were you. But remember, in that passenger seat, you’ll most likely be worrying about something else, never realizing you have what you wanted for so long and thought would be the only thing you needed to make you happy.
The one with the perfect hair
Blake Lively's long, blonde locks are about as priceless and desirable as Megan Fox's perky breasts. Some girls are just lucky; they are born with perfect hair and can only ever pretend to understand bad hair days. However, just because they have what you long for so badly doesn’t mean you don’t have something they might long for.
Just because a woman has perfect hair doesn’t mean she’s perfectly happy. Every woman finds something wrong with herself and I have no doubt that she would gladly trade her hair for something of yours she secretly yearns for.
The one with the great body
We all know that girl who has the perfect hourglass shape, complemented by a tiny waist. The fact that she doesn’t even go to the gym is just icing on the cake you wish you could throw in her face. She wears outfits you could never pull off and even you can’t help but imagine her naked at times. But like the woman with the perfect hair or flawless skin, she doesn’t have everything, even if it looks like she does.
She might be the girl who can get any man into bed, but can’t get him to stay. She might be the girl who's been on a diet for 10 years and has forgotten what ice cream tastes like. Or maybe she’s just sad, maybe she sits at home alone with her washboard abs and great legs, wishing she had someone to wrap them around.
The one with the great pictures
It’s common knowledge that a woman who takes a lot of pictures is a woman who’s making up for a lot of something. The girl all over your newsfeed with the amazing parties, the hot guy friends and the spontaneous trips to the beach isn’t living the life she emulates with filters and manicured selfies -- because she’s not living it at all.
Because no girl is having a wonderful time if she’s only preoccupied with making sure everyone knows what a wonderful time she’s having. If her life were that great, she wouldn’t be taking pictures of it, she’d be out there living it, moment by moment. Great pictures do not equal a great life.
The one with the awesome career
She works at Vogue. She’s a famous actress. She’s a trust-fund baby who spends her days volunteering at galleries and spunky art shows. There will always be a woman with a career you want, just like there will always be a woman with a career she wants (unless she’s Anna Wintour).
You should never be jealous of a woman with a better career, you should be inspired by her. Use her status, her position, everything she has that you want as a daily inspiration for your own efforts. Work until she is no longer your idol, but your equal.
The one who gets all the attention
Anywhere you go, she steals the spotlight. She gets the attention of all the men and the envy of all the women. She is funny, witty and just about the coolest person you know.
However, she’s not that fun when she’s by herself, and she’s most likely going over all the stupid jokes she told and the embarrassing times she danced on the tables. She probably wishes she could be that mysterious girl in the corner. She's most likely wishing she could take back all those times she was busy talking instead of thinking and be more like the cool, calm and collected girl who doesn't need the spotlight.
The one with everything going for her
She has beauty, brains, connections and just about the best personality, so you can’t even call her a bitch. She’s got a great boyfriend and a wardrobe that puts your overly planned Anthropologie outfit to shame. She’s got perfect skin, hair and teeth and you long for her life more than you long for your own desires. She is perfect and you just know that you would be happier if you were here.
But you are not her and you never will be. You are yourself, with your own (im)perfections and your own flaws, and to someone else, you are the perfect woman. To the girl you never noticed before, you are the woman who has everything. We are all lusting after someone, something else, wishing we had another life; you never realize that maybe to someone else, you’re that girl with the perfect, effortless outfit she wishes she could be.
Photo via Clueless