5 Bad Habits Women Need To Break If They Want To Maximize Their Fabulosity

by Alice Walker

Let's be honest: It can be tricky business to navigate life as a modern woman. Many women are so focused on fitting in and getting by that they miss out on opportunities to stand out and shine.

Well, it’s time to break the pattern and lose the lame habits. Let’s kick off our heels and declare ourselves as fabulous, no matter what anyone else has to say about it.

Here are the five of the worst habits that prevent women from standing out in a crowd:

1. Downplaying Success

We've all been there: You’re catching up with your girlfriends and one of them asks you how work is going. You oh-so-casually mention that you finally got that big promotion but then cut off the squeals and fanfare by explaining that “really, it's no big deal,” and “you just got really lucky.”

So consumed with not wanting to come across as boastful, you then quickly change the subject; what you really want to talk about is your friend’s new boyfriend.

What To Do Instead: Hold that newly-promoted head up high! If your friends want to make a fuss (as they should), let them. Wait for them to finish telling you how amazing it is and then thank them and mean it. It's not only okay to celebrate your accomplishments; it’s downright imperative for you to do.

How else will you feel that you have achieved your goals if you do not celebrate them? Remember, it’s sharing success with the people you love, not bragging.

2. Bargaining With Yourself

Bargaining is great when it comes to negotiating higher pay or more vacation time. It’s not so great when you use it to justify something you should not be doing, or if you’re anything like me, eating.

I have self-bargained over sweets, men and spending money -- really, everything on earth that could be qualified as “so bad.” Does it help? Almost never. Usually, it just leaves me with a sinking feeling of guilt and shame.

What To Do Instead: Eat the sweets, date the man and spend the money, then continue with your regularly scheduled programming. You are fine the way you are and exhausting yourself with mental gymnastics isn’t doing you any good.  Try to make smart choices consistently and when you indulge a little, enjoy it!

3. Constantly Price Check Your Compliments

“Wow, you look so nice today! What a great dress,” a well-intentioned coworker said to you as you entered the elevator. “Oh, this old thing?” you quickly reply. “It’s practically a decorative bag at this point; I got this for $8.59 on clearance at Ross eight years ago!”

Always in such a rush to highlight a bargain, we can be like price checkers at a winter blowout sale and end up pricing ourselves out of compliments. Isn’t highlighting how inexpensive something is just another way to sidestep praise?

You (hopefully) wouldn’t do this for expensive things. If people compliment your car or your wedding ring, do you immediately tell them how much it cost?

What To Do Instead:  Take a deep breath and smile through the urge to tell them the exact cost and length of ownership. You don’t need to always highlight how cheap something was (even if you are a champion bargain shopper).

Then, thank them and return the compliment; it’s a win-win.

4. Stressing Out About Being Stressed

It is a vicious cycle: Something happens at work that stresses you out. You obsess about it all day and when you get home, you cannot relax because you are “too stressed” from work.

You get so worried about how stressed you are that everything seems magnified into a huge problem, which causes you more worry.

What To Do Instead: Stop borrowing troubles from tomorrow. When something goes wrong, fix it as best you can and then let it go. Obsessing and worrying over something doesn't help fix anything.

Find a healthy outlet to help you deal with your daily stress. Meditation and exercise are two great ways to work through stress and try to do something you enjoy every single day.

5. Wait For Permission

I can’t tell you how many women I have met who haven't started a business or project because some part of them was waiting for some kind of permission. Be it a friend, boss or partner, too many people wait for someone to give some kind of go-ahead to try something new.

It’s actually a pretty fabulous excuse that precludes you from putting yourself out there. If you never get permission, you never have to try and you never risk failure.

What To Do Instead: Give yourself permission to be amazing, to try harder and start something new. You are the only person running your life and your life’s degree of awesome is totally up to you. So, get out of the passenger seat and into the driver’s seat. You can do this.

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