The Difference Between The Man You Marry And The Men You Hook Up With

For whatever reasons, the guys you hook up with never turn out to be the one you marry.

Maybe you intend for it to be that way (Hey, who doesn’t like a good fling?), or maybe you just love choosing all the wrong people (Who else here is attracted to assh*les?), but there is a clear difference between The One and the other ones.

You can’t marry every kind of man, nor do you want to.

And it’s important to remember that every guy you hook up with isn’t necessarily bad for you. Since you can’t predict with whom you will end up, sometimes you just have to ride the wave and see if you float.

Here are the differences between the man you marry and the men you hook up with.

1. The man you marry wants to grow old with you; the men you hook up with never grow on you.

2. The man you marry notices when you change your hair; the men you hook up with expect you to have no hair (down there).

3. The man you marry toasts with champagne; the men you hook up with toast with drugs in your champagne.

4. The man you marry doesn’t go through your cell phone; the men you hook up with live in your cell phone.

5. The man you marry doesn’t take your sh*t; the men you hook up with are full of it.

6. The man you marry sees the world with you; the men you hook up with see your bedroom.

7. You have long, meaningful talks with the man you marry; you have long, meaningful discussions with yourself about the men you hook up with.

8. The man you marry fixes things; the men you hook up with are temporary fixations.

9. The man you marry binge watches Netflix with you; the men you hook up with can’t keep their hands out of your pants after selecting “The Departed” (…not that we see anything wrong with this).

10. The man you marry drives you wild; the men you hook up with drive you insane.

11. The man you marry doesn’t know about the men you hook up with; the men you hook up with know about the man you marry… via Facebook.

12. The man you marry is at your beck and call; the men you hook up with don’t call -- they text (…mostly after midnight).

13. The man you marry gets to know your friends; the men you hook up with become your friends (…which can get super awkward when the man you marry comes along).

14. The man you marry takes you out on dates; the men you hook up with only see you out.

15. The man you marry loves your flaws; the men you hook up with are unaware of those flaws.

16. The man you marry wants to fulfill you; the men you hook up with only want to fill you up… with lust. (Get your head out of the gutter!)

17. The man you marry meets your parents; the men you hook up with you hide from your parents.

18. You're unsure if you’re going to marry the man you eventually marry; you think you’ll marry the men you hook up with.

19. The man you marry can come from a one-night stand; the men you hook up with are, eternally, one-night stands.

20. The man you marry opens doors for you (literally and figuratively); the men you hook up with walk you to it.

21. The man you marry hears what you have to say; the men you hook up with tell you what you want to hear… (which could be why I’m still single and loving it, no shame).

22. The men you hook up with care about their happy endings; the man you marry cares about his happy ending with you.

23. The man you marry doesn’t want to change you; the men you hook up with want you to change out of your clothes.

24. The man you marry doesn’t care if you can’t dance; the men you hook up with dance around the issues.

25. The man you marry appreciates you; the men you hook up with appreciate your gym membership.

26. The man you marry gives you a thoughtful gift on your birthday; the men you hook up with only care about your cake. (Pun is completely intended.)

27. The man you marry brings out your best self; the men you hook up with “like” your selfies.

28. The man you marry will apologize after he snaps at you; the men you hook up with will Snapchat you apologies (usually their dicks).

29. The man you marry wants to get to know you; the men you hook up with think they know you.

30. The man you marry carries your bags; the men you hook up with carry your baggage.