Some bar nights are better than others. There are those that leave you vomiting on the side of a building while your Uber frantically calls you. Then there are the ones that leave you crying in the bathroom on the phone to your mom (just me?).
However, every female can agree that a girls night out is the best chance we have in this lifetime of a successful outing!
Every great girls night has distinct phases that you may or may not remember.
1. The Pregame.
Everyone knows the pregame is the best part of any night. Throwbacks. Chips. Shots. Outfit swapping with your best friends. Perhaps a swipe right or two (or 30) on Tinder. Nothing is better than the night's pregame progression, letting you and your girlfriends get into the perfect mindset to take on the club.
This is also when the Instagram pics are taken – ya know before the bar grime takes over and leaves your fake lashes half off and your hair 3 sizes bigger than when you left.
And let's be honest, if you didn't listen to R.Kelly's “Ignition (Remix),” you're setting yourself up for a mediocre night.
2. The Ride to the Bar.
Whether you Uber, Taxi or get a ride from your roommates' best friend's cousin, a lit bar ride is essential to the perfect GNO. If you have passenger seat AUX cord control, you are DJ Master and it is your sole purpose on this earth to provide class A jams.
If you're in back you can assist your task is to pep talk everyone to get them ready for the the night's objectives (No Sarah can't text her ex again tonight, even to congratulate him on his recent engagement...again).
This is also prime Snapchat story time. By now, the alcohol has set in and your inner Beyonce has stepped out. Let's just hope your Uber driver is down to listen to you and your girls scream-sing “Freakum Dress” on loop until you get the perfect "candid" snap.
3. The Bar.
This can be the most anticlimactic part of the night. If the DJ is off, or the bar is overcrowded with douchebag boys and their pulsating groins – it can really throw off any sort of party vibe. Sometimes all we can do in life is dance to mediocre music with a cute guy who may or may not commute to the city from his mother's house.
A girls bathroom run has the ability to bring people together unlike anything else. Forget trust falls or prayer circles, drunk peeing in a stall with another girl bonds you two in sisterhood.
Just think about it, if all the conflicting world leaders took a drunk 5-minute pee break, I could practically guarantee world peace.
4. After Bar Food.
NOTE: This is the only reason I go out.
Nothing tastes as good as a burger and fries when you're so drunk you feel your blood turning into pure alcohol and your stomach literally eating itself.
So what if it costs $15 plus a tip to the cute cashier boy, who did literally nothing to deserve that tip — but who cares, YOU'RE FINALLY EATING!
5. The Afterparty.
You made it! Getting home from the bar is always a toss up. You and you girls could continue the good vibes and eat a whole bag of Doritos while watching The Office and laughing way too hard.
Or, you could already be peeling off your lashes in the Uber home and be ready to pass out the second you step foot in the door (RIP to all the lashes I've lost on the long journey home).
In conclusion, as long as you can wake up the next morning and find you still have your wallet, your coat and some of your hard earned dignity, you fully have the right to call it a successful night! So go grab that hangover breakfast, post that Instagram you took at the pregame, delete any snap stories taken after midnight and get ready to do it all over again next weekend!
*This post was originally published on ReadUnwritten.com