I used to be the type of person who scoffed at this hippie-dippie type of writing. I thought it was for people who needed to have their hands held and be told to get off their asses instead of just doing it on their own. I didn’t have time to read another esoteric jumble of words and -isms and make it apply to me.
But then, as life will have it, I hit a rough patch and felt really, profoundly lost. Well, that’s half of it, anyway. Sometimes I truly believe we conjure up things because we love the drama of it all.
After seeking advice from a variety of sources, I found the most useful tools to uplift my spirits were words -- more specifically, sayings, ideas and feelings that I could latch on to and remind myself of when I felt I was slipping.
Though it’s now less frequent, I still make it a point to read affirmations a few times a week. Doing so builds me up, keeps me grounded and reminds me to be the best version of myself. I don’t see any handholding in that.
Rule Number One: You get one body.
We’re getting this one out of the way first. Self-acceptance starts with loving and caring for yourself. You get only one body in this life. Whether you love it or hate it, it’s yours forever; accept it. The stuff that’s vital is on the inside, anyway.
Rule Number Two: Find confidence from self-approval.
You are human with flaws, and not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are. Make peace with this. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to measure up to the unattainable ideal in your head, and instead, use this energy to give the woman in the mirror the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others.
Rule Number Three: Learn to forgive and let go.
Learn how to admit your faults and how to forgive others for their own, as well. Come to understand that it is better to build bridges instead of walls, but know when you need to just let go altogether.
Rule Number Four: Appreciate the basics.
Stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors and be grateful for the simple things you’ve been blessed with. When you recognize the power of loving versus hating, you’ll demonstrate it through kind words, genuine smiles and thoughtful gestures. Laughter is energy for the soul, so make it a point to create time for fun.
Rule Number Five: Feel secure in your relationships.
Learn to see people as they truly are and not as you want them to be. Once you become cognizant of your own insecurities, don’t project them onto your relationships. Understand that they will not be fixed by the person lying next to you. Come to terms with the fact that both relationships and people change and that is why you cannot determine your self-worth by the amount of love you are given.
Rule Number Six: Strive for self-love.
Your actions towards others are a reflection of how you feel about yourself. Strive to accept others as they are, while tending to your own needs. Finally release yourself of external forces and enjoy spending time with just yourself. You’ll realize you’re capable of new things.
Rule Number Seven: Practice mindfulness.
Stop looking to the other side of the hill for greener, better, happier things; it will never leave you satisfied. Give thanks for and recognize the abundance of all that’s good and positive in your life, rather than fixate on what’s lacking. If you live in the present, you’ll always feel fulfilled.
Rule Number Eight: Be proactive.
Take responsibility for yourself and understand that you have to pave your own way in this world. You have the building blocks for success, but it’s up to you to use them. Have the courage to do what’s right for you.
Rule Number Nine: Open up to experiences.
Living life to the fullest means you’re exuding positive energy and remaining open to every opportunity. The universe will never throw you an obstacle you’re not strong enough to overcome. Remember, good things come apart so that better things can come together.
Rule Number Ten: “Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to give you the flowers.”
There is so much beauty within your own self. Internalize that and you will be golden. If you are golden, then you will always shine.