I'm A Woman, Not A 'Lady', And I Am Not Ashamed To Talk About Sex

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I love sex. I love to talk about sex. Boners and vibrators make up around 90 percent of my conversational material. I find sex titillating. (Heh.)

I don’t tread lightly. I have no problem bringing it up within the first few minutes of meeting someone.

I understand that this is shocking, but I don't care. I’m a sex WRITER, for God's sake. Sex is what I know, and it’s what I do. Of course I talk about it!

I’m just not down to be coy or “professional." I don't want to water down my subject matter. It's not gonna happen. I tried it once, and it was awful.

Frequently talking about sex can actually be pretty beneficial. A conversation about sex will help you figure out who your friends are — and if they can handle sh*t. It breaks down social barriers. It changes the goddamn world.

Historically, sex is an unsavory topic. We're all so scared of it, as if talking about sex will destroy the fabric of our carefully constructed, puritanical society. F*ck that. Let's destroy it.

Let's open up a dialogue. Let's bring this "taboo" topic out of the shadows and into the limelight.

Let's stop demonizing what is natural and normal.

I talk about sex all the time, and you need to STFU about it.

I don’t care what you think.

What my irritation really comes down to is that I don't give a f*ck about what you say, so you're wasting my time and yours.

I am going to talk about whatever, whenever. Your opinion carries no weight. If you want to comment, go ahead. I do not care.

Someone has to do it.

Sex is out there. It exists, and anything in existence deserves discussion. And I'll volunteer to start the conversation.

If we don’t discuss sex openly, it will never stop being taboo. So, here I am: a girl talking about orgasms and wiener size on the reg.

People need information.

If you’re not talking about sex, you’re not learning about sex. Perhaps this is the reason my ex-boyfriend treated my vagina like it was his hand, flailing on top of me in a vain attempt to achieve an orgasm.

Essentially, he'd never learned how to have sex. More information = better sex.

I’m proud of my history.

I have no shame. I've had lots of sexual partners, and I love to talk about my experiences with them.

I have the best stories, and my lack of filter makes me a joy. I’m not going to hide in the shadows and wallow in shame over my past. I'm not ashamed at all.

Sex is a conversation starter.

Nothing gets the ball rolling like bringing up dicks in a conversation. This really sets the mood for your entire chat.

You’ll get to know someone pretty damn fast once you bite the bullet and bring up giving head. Life is too short to talk about the weather.

Sex is normal...

...So why can't women talk about it? Men do -- all the time. They can be as vulgar as they want.

Like me, they're also not ashamed of what they say. Women deserve the same privilege.

It’s my body, and I can talk about it any way I want to.

It’s my f*cking body. I can talk about it -- and what I do with it -- any way I want. What I do is not your business.

If you don’t want to hear about it, don’t talk to me. I’m great at sex, and I love sex. I’m about my pleasure, and I want the world to know.

I’m not a "lady."

Here’s a shocker: I’m not a "lady." I’m a real-ass woman who doesn't have the time or energy to fit inside a box.

I’m not wasting away in an effort to be "ladylike." That sounds horrible. I would rather pluck out my own eyeballs than try to be fragile and elegant. THAT would make for a good story.

Talking about sex weeds out the weak.

You will learn who can handle their sh*t the minute you bridge the sex factor. I've found that I can figure out who is cool and who sucks as soon as I talk about penises.

The expressions of discomfort or interest are visible. People can’t hide their emotions once sex is in the picture.

It’s FASCINATING.

Sex is seriously the most interesting topic that you could choose. I’m not into bland, boring discussions. I want to talk about the nitty-gritty.

Why would you NOT want to talk about sex? It’s taboo, naughty and awesome. It is -- or should be -- the preferred subject matter for any and all conversations.

It’s the Internet. Point said.

Besides talking about sex, I write about it. Maybe now you can see just how little I care. The Internet is a crazy, demented place.

With so much insane sh*t out there, why not add to the wacko conversation? What is making people so afraid? Their reputations? It's ultimately more important to be authentic than “respectable.” I’m just being me.

Because... f*ck you.

If you don’t like that I talk about sex, you can kindly f*ck off. K, thanks. Bye!