I love clothes. In fact, I own so many that they don't fit in my walk-in closet, dresser and other areas that I've attempted to stash them. But I've got a bone to pick with designers.
Why are so many clothes unwearable? Why must I feel like I'm solving a puzzle every morning when I get dressed?
To showcase my frustrations I've compiled a list of six things that really frustrate me with modern women's clothing, and I'm sure a few of you can relate.
1. Is there normal shirt fabric around?
Why is every single shirt see-through? I mean, I want to wear a nice, flowing shirt, but 99 percent of the time that means everyone can see my bra through it. And if you can see my bra, then I for sure can't go braless.
So, that means I have to wear something under it like a tank top. Which then means the flow that I so greatly desired in the shirt is no longer there.
That nice flowy top is now clinging to this tank top and it feels awful, and tight and is making weird rumples. It's just the worst. I mean clothing companies know we have to wear bras, right?
2. What's With All The Inconveniently Placed Cut-Outs?
Seriously, they know we have to wear bras, right?
I can't identify the number of clothes I want to buy, or have purchased, that you can't wear a bra with. For instance, open back dresses and shirts. Now we're doing this new thing where we have cuts outs everywhere on our shirts and dresses. How am I supposed to wear this?
OK, I can go braless or use petals to cover up (as long as the material isn't see through, see problem 1), but what about us girls who need a little extra from our bras? A little extra padding, a little extra support?
Nope, apparently we're just supposed to go braless and let our 70s disco titties do their thing.
3. Am I Morphing Sizes?
Why are sizes always different based on the designer? I mean I'm generally a size three, but sometimes a three is WAY too small, so I have to buy a five. Sometimes, a three is way too big and I have to grab a one and even, on rare occasion, a zero.
Which is fine, I don't care what size I have to purchase, but trying things on is such a pain. I have to take three sizes of the same item of clothing into the dressing room because I never know which will fit.
And, when you've grown up using this sizing system and you go somewhere and they want to know if you're a 24 or a 27 you're basically in your own, personal shopping, hell.
I'm sorry, what? I don't know the answer to that question, because again, I can't even tell you what my real size is.
It's not just a guy problem. I don't know how many shirts I've purchased because they were long and I wasn't going to have to worry about them riding up while I was at work.
But then I washed and dried them and BAM, I now own crop tops I'll never wear.
Again, I don't want to wear a shirt under it. This isn't 2002, that look is no longer in style. And besides, I live somewhere where summer is nearly 365 days a year, so I'd like to not wear multiple layers every day.
5. Bodies Are Different
Imagine that. I mean, I'm pretty short, but others are pretty tall. So, you know, we get this lovely issue where all of my pants are dragging 6-inches on the ground, but tall girls have to either cuff their pants or risk looking ridiculous in floods.
And then there's the booty. I've been blessed with a pretty round rump, which means low rise jeans barely fit over it and high-waisted shorts basically allow the bottom half of my caboose to hang out.
Also, because I have a longer torso, don't even come near me with a romper. I look like I'm wearing a diaper and let's be real, that thing is riding up where it doesn't belong and not looking too great.
6. The Skinny Jeans Dance
Forget about the “bend and snap," it's more like the “bend and squat.” You know, that move you have to do when you put on a pair of newly washed and dried skinny jeans. They've tightened right back up after you spent all that time breaking them in and now you have to start over.
Give them an hour or two and you'll feel okay in them again, but first thing in the morning, climbing into clean skinny jeans, you're going to become a circus contortionist with the weird positions you'll have to put yourself in.
Designers, please help us girls out and start making clothes that are actually wearable. It can't be that hard to stick to standard measurements and create a product that isn't see-through. Help a girl out, would you?