Every girl has a Spice Girl she can relate to. You may identify as Ginger Spice, you may find solidarity with Posh or you may be that girl and call Baby Spice your spirit animal.
What you rarely find amongst any group of friends is someone who voluntarily labels themselves as the Scary Spice of the herd.
I believe it’s because unlike the other Spice Girls, Scary wasn’t “sexy,” in the traditional sense of the word.
She didn’t wear the tight little Gucci dresses like Posh or the pastel frocks like Baby. She had her own unique style.
What we overlooked as middle schoolers is that Scary Spice might not be your typical “hot girl,” but she is f*cking badass.
She flies by the seat of her pants, dances to her own tune and gives absolutely zero f*cks about what anyone thinks about her. Her confidence is what makes her sexy as hell.
Full disclosure, my best friend happens to be Scary Spice, and while she can be in denial all she wants, she needs to just accept it.
Scary Spice was and is the coolest Spice Girl of them all. It's time to embrace your inner scary girl! Release the Mel B inside of you!
Are you the Scary Spice of your group?
1. You’re always the one dancing on the bar
You’re the life of every party. You have no boundaries, and you are far from inhibited.
When you go out, you GO OUT. You don’t believe in trying to act reserved just for the sake of those around you.
2. You look innocent, but your rage comes out unexpectedly
You have rage in you that can come out randomly and ferociously.
You are fiercely protective, and if anyone messes with one of your friends, he or she will answer to you.
3. You’ll never say no to that last shot
Saying no is basically nonexistent for you. You don’t want to miss out on something, so you throw yourself full force into every experience.
After all, you miss every shot you don’t take.
4. You are always down for anything
You’re easy-going as long as where you're going has a disco ball. Whenever a friend needs someone to go out with, you’re the first person she calls.
You have enough energy to light up all of Manhattan. You just go and go and go.
5. You don’t sweat the small stuff
You’re too busy enjoying your life to bother with other people’s bullsh*t. You are outrageous, but you aren’t dramatic. You take the hits as they come and move on.
6. Hard alcohol gets you TURNT.
Your idea of a relaxing night in is a six-pack on the couch. When hard liquor is involved, you’re in for an adventure. It’s basically your gasoline.
The minute you bring out that tequila, your friends collectively take a breath. Oh, what a night.
7. You give zero f*cks
You just literally give zero f*cks about anything. You don’t have time for judgment or petty problems.
8. You claim to be a Spice Girl who is nothing like you
For some reason, my best friend emphatically claims she’s Baby Spice because she’s blonde.
Meanwhile, last weekend I wake up Saturday morning to several friends' Snapchat stories of her wildly humping my passed out drunk body from different angles. How can she possibly not see she is Scary Spice?
9. You’re a hot mess, and you love it
You might be “that girl” more often than not, but you embrace your hot, tranny mess of a life.
You have more spirit than anyone. So what if you don’t always have it together? Life is more fun that way.
10. You were a bad bitch before your time
You wrote the book on being cool. You were rocking out with your c*ck out long before anyone knew what really made someone unique and amazing: being your damn self.
If you’re being yourself, you’re doing it right.
11. No one respects your style
You are all about statement pieces and making an entrance but never chose a cohesive style.
You have a bunch of different looks, but all of them are equally out of the box.
You were rocking cheetah before cheetah was even a thing. You don’t dress to look good for guys; you dress solely for yourself.
12. Your friends can count on you to out-ridiculous them every time
No one outdoes Scary Spice.
13. Your voice is ALWAYS heard
No one can ever silence you. When everyone else is obsessed with being cute, you just don’t care.
You have a lot to say! You are a loud-mouth b*tch who isn’t going to let her opinion go unnoticed. You own your sh*t.
14. You put the spice in everyone’s life
You may not be girly or flowering, but you are certainly spicy.
You’re a strong female with a rowdy personality who adds much-needed dimension to every relationship.
15. You’re perpetually single
You’re definitely a wild child. It takes a certain kind of man to be able to handle you, and those kinds of men are few and far between. Luckily, you’re so full of self-love; it doesn’t even faze you.
16. Your attitude IS your sex appeal
While Posh, Ginger and Baby (Sorry, Sporty, you were cool too) all brought different facets of “sexiness” to the table, Scary brought something completely different: her badass attitude, leather pants and unfettered confidence. Now that we’re older, we can appreciate that.
17. You cannot be tamed
You are 100 percent free-spirited. You don’t want to be tied down or adhere to some standard that society tries to put on you.
You don’t need a boyfriend; you need a shot of whiskey and a dance floor. You march to the beat of your own drum.
18. You’re scary AF, but you’re oh so lovable
You’re abrasive, but people appreciate you. You are definitely a thick-skinned lady, but you’re a fantastic friend and totally loving and sweet when you want to be.
You might be slightly terrifying, but your friends wouldn’t trade you for the world.