I'm never not tired.
At first, I was concerned I'd morphed into one of those entitled, lazy bums Baby Boomers always bitch about.
But, as it turns out, my sleeping habits are just f*cked up.
In an effort to catch up on Sleeping Beauty-like snoozes, I contacted Dr. Shelby Harris. She's the director of behavioral sleep medicine at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City.
On a basic level, Harris says there are a few key things to remember when it comes to sleep.
If you're downing three shots of espresso just to stay awake at work, your day-to-day sleep pattern is probably ruined.
1. You're eating spicy, rich or heavy meals late at night.
Your body needs to begin shutting down before bed, not work to digest all that food you just ate. Avoid big meals within three hours of going to bed.
To help induce sleepiness, Harris suggests mixing whole grain carbs with some protein.
2. You live-tweet from your bed.
Most of us can't turn our minds off early enough to achieve a good night's sleep.
Instead of watching Real Housewives reruns until 4 am, Harris advocates choosing smarter ways to take a mental load off.
3. You try your best to catch up on sleep.
Sleeping past noon on a Saturday sounds like the ultimate staycation, but you're nowhere closer to feeling rested on Monday morning.
According to Harris, it takes more than one day to catch up on a major sleep deficit.
4. You sleep with your pet.
Fluffy does more than just hog the bed.
Even if your pet doesn't fully wake you up, sleeping with an animal can interrupt your sleep cycle.
5. You hit snooze on your alarm clock.
Though you may want to hit snooze the morning after an all-nighter, Harris says the extra 15 minutes will wreck your sleep cycle.
Waking up multiple times in the morning can ruin your circadian rhythm, an internal "body clock" that determines how our bodies react throughout the next 24-hours.
6. You sleep with your phone under your pillow or your TV on.
Harris has science on her side.
LED lighting found in phones, tablets and the like stops sleep-inducing neurons, causing sleep deficiencies.
As for falling asleep during "Vanderpump Rules"?
Harris warns about the effects.
7. You have a glass of red wine before bed.
Those glasses of Pinot Noir are interrupting your sleep more than helping your heart health.
Harris suggests avoiding alcohol at all costs if you want a quality slumber.
8. You're too reliant on sleeping pills.
Plenty of sleep disorders require medication.
However, it's best to try behavioral treatments that are just as effective.