From the time we were shoved out of the womb, we’ve felt the need to fit in. Think about it. From Limited-Too camis, to spending $95 on a ripped up skirt from A&F that we wore once in eighth grade (what the f*ck?). Thinking it was always the right move, we followed what society did. We always needed to be a part of a group because it made us feel comfortable.
But it also made us feel cool that we were being accepted by others. How many relationships and friendships have we brushed off because one friend said a negative thing about that person? I mean seriously, is it really that cool to be the same as everyone else?
Now in my twenties, I have realized that sticking out of the crowd and doing what I want makes me the happiest. I already have my close friends who accept me for who I am. If I want to wear leggings, you better believe I’m going to.
If I want to lie on my couch and max out on Taco Bell instead of feel claustrophobic at the bar while guys get drunk and spill beer down my shirt, I’ll do that too (with sauce and a big smile on my face). I don’t do what I please because I want to prove a point -- I do it because it makes me happy.
I have also come to realize that not only am I bettering myself, but I am bettering my future. Here are 10 reasons why sticking out of the crowd is actually the real definition of cool:
You save money.
It’s true. Fitting in a crowd is expensive. Like that $95 Abercrombie and Fitch skirt I begged my dad to buy me in eighth grade. I couldn’t even wear it because my older brother made me change it before I could even slip outside the door. Trends are very cute but you don’t have to stick to name brands to make the outfit. Surf the web, look at different stores. Save money. If you spend all your money on one outfit, you won’t have any money left to spend while showing that outfit off.
Businesses will notice you.
Applying for your dream job? It’s been said a handle full of times. Businesses want unique people. The more you are a leader, the more confidence you have. Confidence leads to landing a job, which leads to money -- which then leads to buying whatever the eff you want. Businesses yearn for young adults who are creative and have a great head on their shoulders and think outside of the box.
Guys will want to get to know more about you.
Guys who want “girls” who act like everyone else are so 1997. It’s true. Even when I scope out a guy, I am more attracted to the ones that have a little extra personality "oomph" in them. Give that guy you have your eye on a challenge. That’s what guys want. I mean I’m sure all guys want an easy girl for a night but of course, that’s temporary. A girl who can show him something new every single day and keep him on his toes will win in the end. Be exciting! Do fun things even if he dreads it. He will thank you in the end.
You will realize who your true friends are.
I love my friends. All seven of them. They love who I am who I want to be. They actually motivate me to do more. And if your friends don’t motivate you -- I will. True friends don’t care what you wear, what you want to do on a Friday night, and are great at cheering you on. If you want to stay in and be alone in bed while watching "Sex & the City" and thinking about your Mr. Big, do it. Who cares? Do you think your friends are going to drop you because you won’t go out one night? I certainly hope not.
You’ll meet new acquaintances.
Such a beautiful feeling knowing that you can converse with people outside of your friend zone. I swear I met someone who works in my building and I was in shock because I wasn’t aware that I could talk to someone about things other than smothering my face with hot wings and taking shots of Fireball over the weekend. Call it pathetic but opening your mind to different people is refreshing mentally and physically because you then start to narrow down what you like and don’t like about people.
You will become strong-willed and independent.
How awesome does that sound? Going out and chasing what you want is the only way you will be happy. Bless those who just sit on their ass and get sh*t handed to them, but it’s more of an accomplishment when you actually make plans, set goals and achieve them.
You’ll learn the hard way to life.
Life isn’t easy. Every single person can tell you this. But looking on the bright side: It gets easier. Sure, you might get some whispers behind your back (which may brutally hurt) because you want to venture outside of the circle, but guess what? You get to do what you want. That’s the best part.
No one cares in college -- no one cares after college.
That speaks for itself. No one cares. The only thing people care about in college is the nearest off campus house they can black out at and if they should go to class the next day. My Freshman year outfits were hideous. After looking for a #ThrowbackThursday picture of my girls and me, I remembered that all of those clothing items aren’t in my closet anymore because I either: A.) spilled something on it, B.) threw it away because I didn’t want to wash it or C.) threw up on it.
Then comes the real world where the only thing we care about is if staying past 8 pm on a weekday is a good idea and when pay day is. Follow the Code Of Ethics at work then run home and jump around for all anyone cares. Get that monaaay and be free. Travel, make new friends, go out, laugh, smile, cry -- whatever the case may be.
You’ll find your true self.
I am going to bring up my $95 Abercrombie and Fitch skirt again because I hated it. I hate it now more than ever because I could’ve spent that $95 on something else. After that, I didn’t go along with the trends. I shopped with my mom at TJ Maxx and Nordstroms and did my own thing. I’m sure wearing what I wanted wasn’t terrible considering I still have the same friends from middle school as I do now. You’ll realize what you like and don’t like, which makes life a little easier.
You won’t be scared to say “no”
I actually LOL every time I think about the times I said YES when what I meant was “f*ck no.” You know what I mean. Saying NO is a vital part of this life. If you say YES to something you don’t want to say YES to, you will have so much on your plate, you might as well just go psycho now. Why would you want to do something that you know for a fact will make you miserable?
What I am trying to say is, don’t be afraid to be yourself. Sometimes we forget the true meaning of happiness. We need more people in this world who are unique and beautiful. Go out and try new things. I promise it will make you feel like a better person.
Photo via We Heart It