Perfection Is F*cking Boring: Why A Quirky Girl Will Always Beat Out A 'Hot' Girl

by Lauren Martin

You’ll never be one of those girls… Those smooth-talking, smoldering sex bunnies who can convey a feeling with just a look. You’ll never be that mysterious girl in the corner, urging men to talk to you. You'll never be cool or charismatic, sexy or subtle.

Nothing will ever come effortlessly to you. You’ll never be able to pull off leather pants or sexy Snapchats without laughing at yourself. You’ll never be able to go to dinner and not spill your water or leave without food in your teeth.

You will forever remain one of those girls who always manages to capture the opposite of sexy perfectly.

You’re clumsy, goofy and a little strange. You get men to laugh at you before they crave you. You fall up steps and get a little too drunk and talk to your waiter in Spanish.

You tell jokes and burp the first two letters of the alphabet. You spill your glass of wine and talk too loud. Yet, you yearn to be like those girls. The ones who never spill and always whisper.

The ones who can wear belly tops and high waisted pants. The ones in high school who never tripped in the halls or dropped their lunch trays. Those women in the Carl’s Jr. burger commercials or Megan Fox in anything.

Maybe you tried to be like these women for a while. Maybe you stopped talking and just sat there in your new tight dress and high heels, trying to look perfect. Maybe you hung out with a lot of “perfect” people and dated cool guys with great style who never tripped or told you an inappropriate joke.

And then, after months, years or decades of trying to hide your quirks and exude perfection, you probably learned a very valuable lesson about perfect people… They’re not real. They are people pretending to be perfect and hiding who they really are. They are boring.

You may not have the perfect hourglass shape or hair that effortlessly cascades down your shoulders, but at least you’re not f*cking boring.

Boring is the last thing from your repertoire. Personality is something you do not yearn for, something you take for granted. Yet while you’re wishing you had straight hair or big boobs, others wish they had your charm, your quirks, your inability to be dull. You are a refreshing gust of air, a hilarious entertainer, and the only honest one in the room with the balls to admit she's flawed.

People envy you. They envy that comfort you have with yourself. They envy that you don't need Instagram filters or tight dresses to be attractive. They envy that you can make men laugh and tell jokes to a crowd.

They envy that you live your life so thoroughly and completely, with the confidence to put yourself out there (whether you want to or not).

Dates shouldn’t be a staring contest

Going out with someone isn’t about looking at someone, but actually seeing that person. It’s about getting to know someone almost as well as yourself. It’s about getting to know a stranger better than the people who raised you.

You will know all of a person's inhibitions and neuroses. You will know how he likes to sleep, eat and make coffee. You will know this person from every angle, every pore.

So why would you want to go out with someone without the tiny little quirks that are so entertaining and fun? Why would you want to date someone who is just pretending to be perfect. Why would you want someone who doesn’t trip or make you laugh.

You want someone who is going to make you comfortable with your own quirks, not pretend they don’t exist.

Quirks outlast good looks

This news may be breaking to some and old for others, but the more you remind yourself of it, the easier it is to accept and digest: We are all going to get old.

We are all going to turn into versions of ourselves we no longer recognize or appreciate. We will get saggy, lumpy and wrinkled. We will all look at kids and crave their youthful looks.

We will have spotted skin and curved spines. This is a certainty. No matter how perfect you are today, you will not stay that way forever.

Accepting this certainty means allowing yourself to breathe. It means taking out the stick you’ve shoved up that hole you don’t like to talk about, and giving in to that ugly, weird, quirky side you wish no one would see.

It’s about being real and honest with yourself and everyone around you. It’s about exposing all those tiny things that make you so unique. Those things that will define you and make you beautiful and complex in your old age.

You can’t replicate quirkiness

You can’t fake it, tone it or hide it.

Unlike your “flawed” exterior, you can’t put makeup on it or tan it. You can't dye it or iron it out. You can’t cover it up with concealer or high-waisted shorts. You can’t distract from it with low-dipping shirts or run from it with six-inch heels. You wear your quirks, whether you like the pattern or not.

They are as unique as every freckle on your arm. They are what make you different from the processed blondes next to you. They are what people want to see, want to undress and get to know. They are your definer and your true style.

No one can ever steal your quirks. They can't buy the same ones or make theirs better than yours. They can't go out and get new ones or make theirs bigger with some surgery. Your quirks may be the one thing that people can't try and fake.

Photo Courtesy: Fox/New Girl