3 Things All Professional Waxers Want You To Know About Your Vagina
I perform Brazilian waxes for a living. Women come to my place of business and pay me a lot of money to rip the hair from their pussy. I've seen hundreds of vaginas. All shapes, sizes and colors. You name it, I've seen it.
Not only do people pay me to hurt them with hot wax, but I also love what I do. No, I'm not sadistic. In fact, I sometimes say "I'm sorry!" if I see one of my guests in too much pain. I try to give pep talks, tell them the embarrassing story of my first Brazilian wax or do almost anything to get their mind off of the fresh hell I am about bring to their vaginas. Despite the slight guilt I feel for doing what I am doing to them, I dig what I do.
Through the inspirational "atta girls" and ridiculous anecdotes of my personal waxing horror stories, I get to talk to women from different backgrounds all day. My guests are businesswomen, mothers, elderly, pregnant and divorcées. They represent every woman because they are all so different. I hear about their days, their lives and their bastard husbands who better appreciate what they are currently doing for them.
None of these women are the same. They're all special, all different. And all of them have different reasons for coming to see me. They want to feel sexy. They want to impress a partner. They feel pressure to perfect their bodies because no single woman on TV right now has body hair.
Whatever their reason, and after years of doing this job, I have found one common denominator that all of these ladies share: They feel a sense of shame about our vaginas. In some way or another, they feel self-conscious, they try to hide or they apologize to me. These women come to me to pull hair from their bodies and THEY are the ones apologizing? That seems crazy to me.
But I get it. We have all felt the sting of shame when someone or something tells us our vagina is wrong. When we have been made to feel hate toward our body because it produces blood, or looks different or, heaven forbid, smells like a f*cking vagina, it's hard to feel proud.
Ladies of the world, your vagina is amazing. Let's review why because it seems as though we have collectively forgotten just how f*cking awesome they are.
1. Vaginas give life.
Life begins here, babies. In case you slept through sex ed, or are just a complete neanderthal (and let's face it, we wouldn't be here if the neanderthal didn't understand this concept), the vagina is a vessel for life. This is a unique and special gift only women are blessed with. We have the power to carry a life inside of us, and then birth it through this miracle hole built into our bodies.
2. Vaginas are f*cking fun.
It's fun to have sex when you have a vagina, and it's fun to have sex with a person who has a vagina. In both instances, they feel great. Embrace the fact that no matter what you look like, your vagina is a lot of fun, dear.
3. There is no wrong way to have one.
Whether you were born with your anatomical vagina or have transitioned and now have one, whether it's brown, pink or any other color in between, whether your labia are inward or outward facing, and whether you are waxed, shaved or rocking a full bush, your vagina is never wrong. In fact, because there are so many possibilities for how a vagina looks, they are all perfect.
Once you fully embrace your vagina, no one else will ever be able to tell you it is wrong. I'm not sure if I can ever write enough to make the self-consciousness of having a female body go away, but if nothing else is taken from this, know how freaking beautiful your vagina is. Love it, protect it and treasure it because you, my little goddesses, are perfect in your own body, exactly the way you like to be.