I am a woman. I like “The Real Housewives” and things that smell good. I enjoy long walks on the beach and flowers from my husband. I like chocolate. I like strawberries dipped in chocolate — I like pretty much anything dipped in chocolate. I like makeup and high heels. I like cupcakes — especially chocolate cupcakes.
I also like Call of Duty. A lot.
I remember Christmas 2012 like it was yesterday. All through the house, not a man was talking as they were all playing Black Ops II. They were nice enough to teach me and the rest is history.
I like going to a magic box that spins through weapons, hoping for the ray gun then killing zombies. I like when I run through the glow of “Insta-Kill” and a single knife to the undead pops their heads open. I like helping David Mason and his friends kill Menendez. And everyday, while my infant baby sleeps, I like exploring local maps as terrorists come at me from all angles. I like throwing down a flash bang before pulling out my Scorpio EVO and getting those points that will take me to my score streaks — because, I like lightning strikes and escort drones.
What I don’t like is spawning in every crevice and corner of these maps as a bald man (or a bearded man or a man with a shield covering his face).
This is because — if you’re keeping up — I am not a man.
Essentially, by not having a single female avatar, you’re not only putting out the message that women have no business playing “Call of Duty,” but that women aren’t soldiers. Both claims, my violence-loving friends, are untrue.
Therefore, I ask you to fix this before the next holiday season, when the next version COD is sure to hit the shelves. I’m not unreasonable — I’m not asking you to replace a David Mason with a Danielle Mason or have soldiers who look like Lara Croft.
I’m not a videogame maker, but I can’t imagine it would be very difficult to add some long hair and pretty eyes to that bald man. Take away the beard and add some full lips. Add a few kick-ass phrases to the battle chatter in a female voice. Then, give the player the option to be a man or woman. Is that really so difficult?
In an alternate world, where people can come back to life in a matter of seconds, see through walls and play capture the flag in the middle of a world war, let’s go ahead and add one ounce of realism. Thank you.
Photo via Call of Duty