Your 20s are a confusing time. You’re forging your way in the world, deviating from the set path that, up until now, you and your friends have followed together. From high school to college, we went with the status quo, not leaving much room for people to do their own thing.
But then came real life. Now is the time you realize you have about five friends, and don’t really like them. Now is the time you realize you picked the wrong major and your career isn’t what you expected.
Now is the time you look at Facebook, and realize each of your friends has her own little highly irritating niche, and, one by one, you hide them from your news feed.
1. The engaged friend.
She’s the one who’s had a regular weekly manicure for the last six moths in anticipation of the moment he’d get down on one knee and she’d upload the ring photo.
Now, she’s bombarding your news feed with photos of their romantic proposal trip and close-ups of her finger, and her statuses of “so happy I’ve agreed to become Mrs. XX" get about 200 likes.
She makes you question your own life, which you would have been perfectly happy with, until you realized that girls like her were sneakily making decisions you were planning on avoiding for the next five years, and making you wonder if you should reevaluate your priorities. No one makes you feel sh*ttier than your engaged friend.
2. The soon-to-be lawyer.
She’s been at law school for what feels like forever and she is incredibly smug about the fact that she has a job lined up for after exams, in which she will earn more money than you will ever see.
She’s bombarded your news feed with statuses, like “2 days until bar exam! Eek!" When you see her in person, her weird legal jargon makes normal conversation impossible.
Just take solace in the fact that once she’s qualified, she will be working every hour of the day and you will literally never see her. Plus, free legal advice for life.
3. The over-achiever.
She's equally annoying because this girl will shame you with her brilliance. You thought you were doing well when you successfully moved to a big city and rented your own apartment.
OK, you haven’t quite figured out how to be a functional human being who has a job and finds time to go to the gym, let alone do both those things and have a boyfriend.
Meanwhile, your friend has been promoted twice, just got back from vacation with her new boyfriend, and won’t stop going on about how she’s lost 6 pounds. She has her sh*t together in every possible way. It simultaneously makes you hate her and yourself.
4. The one who went straight to grad school.
She claims to be busy and stressed the whole time, but you suspect otherwise. You resent her Instagram photos, which show she has time to explore the city in which you both live.
She is “studying” in the park and “networking” at cute coffee shops, while you are chained to your desk.
You are very envious of the fact that she continues to live a college life. While you admit it may involve more work than your undergrad, it comes with the advantage of cute guys doing their MBA’s.
Despite majoring in journalism, she spends a suspicious amount of time in the business school library.
5.The stupidly busy one.
This one's a little shocking because it's a friend you actually want to see. However, she simply does not have time for you. Suddenly, she’s crazy busy.
She’s embraced post-grad life and living in an actual, non-college town to crazy levels, and between her wine tasting Tuesday, book club Wednesday and charity events every other night of the week, you won’t be seeing her until 2017.
She takes a week to reply to your emails and schedules dinner dates for three months away.
She will probably then cancel, because she’s so busy being busy and important. Give up on her now.