It Won't Happen Twice: 20 Things A Girl Who's Been Hurt Before Will Never Do Again
It’s the saying we know all too well from many drunk, dressed-up girls' nights out on the prowl.
Fresh from a recent breakup, flushed with alcohol and a lack of inhibition, you spat, “I’m never doing that again.”
Maybe it caught you by surprise or maybe you knew exactly what you were doing -- either way, you made a misstep and now you two are done. You can choose to look at it as step backwards or you can gain something from it.
Learning from your mistakes can be a tough way to grow up, though once you come out on the other side, you’re better for it. It’s not as life-changing as your period, but it still means something.
And, at the very least, you promise, swear, insist that you’ll never, ever, under any circumstances, do it again. Until next time…
These are the 20 things that a girl who has been hurt before will never do again:
1. Spend too much money on presents
Once you break up you’ll realize that A. you should have saved your money and B. when you find the person you love, it won’t matter how extravagant your gift is.
2. Plan a vacation too early into the relationship
I knew I didn’t like him. Why didn’t I think to buy insurance on my airfare? We’re sad to see Maui go to waste too. Lesson learned.
3. Send a nude photo
We literally talk about why you shouldn’t send nude pics all the time, and yet you still seemed to do it. And now you regret it in the biggest way (and even if it hasn’t been circulated yet, you’re still thinking about it). 4Chan better not think you’re too cool.
4. Tell your parents about him
If you tell them too early, you can’t be peeved when they follow up about him later.
5. Ditch your friends for him
They’re true blue friends when they stick out the breakup with you and don’t make you feel bad about the whole ditching thing. You’re a true blue friend because you know for certain that you won’t do this again.
6. Buy lingerie before it gets used
Lingerie is kind of like condoms -- it can always be put on. Better luck next time.
7. Read his texts
If you go digging for sh*t, you are going to find it. Hacking into his phone means you don’t trust him for some (hopefully valid) reason, and therefore you were both guilty.
8. Become financially dependent on him
This newfound knowledge is like an unwritten prenup for your next relationship.
9. Change your profile picture
You feel bad having that photo, but you feel worse immediately switching it. Look on the brightside -- now everyone will know you’re single again!
10. Tell people that you’ve met The One
Too soon. Too soon.
11. Move to the same city as him
But it worked in “Going the Distance”! That should teach you to #12; never believe in Drew Barrymore movies again, either.
12. Lose your independence
Don’t sacrifice who you are and what you enjoy for someone else. And that person equally shouldn’t expect you to do so. People admire you for being you, not being part of a couple.
13. Try to make it something it's not
If it’s a casual hookup, you have to calibrate your expectations accordingly, or else disappointment is inevitable. Putting a label on it isn’t necessary if you’re secure in the relationship.
14. Call him your boyfriend before he’s your boyfriend
Ugh, hate when this happens. Sometimes our imaginations run wild with us.
15. Believe his lies
Apologies for sounding like a Carrie Underwood breakup song. (Shudders.)
16. Ignore your instincts
You knew he wasn’t the right guy, but you went for it anyway. Don’t beat yourself up about it -- you’re only human.
17. Get too drunk
It’s hard to take back what you said or did because we all know that drunk talk is real talk. Perhaps you did yourself a blackout favor for once.
18. Push him to do something he doesn’t want to do
Everyone has limitations and it’s important to know your partner’s boundaries. Understand the difference between encouraging and forcing.
19. Unhinge too early in the game
Unleashing all your cray cray on date one will probably scare him away. At least get a few meals out of him first, then tell him about the time you punched a girl on the bathroom line.
20. Rely on him for emotional support
Knowing how to make your own happiness and finding self-acceptance is even more rewarding than having someone else do it for you. Reassurance is one thing, reliance is another.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It