When it comes to women and sex, society has traditionally taken a Coach Carr approach. “Don’t have sex. If you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia and DIE.” A little harsh, don't you think?
We’ve long been taught to keep our knees crossed and our lips tighter. We’ve been scolded for not behaving like ladies -- but in 2014, what the heck does this even mean? When it comes to sex and female bodies, you are only in charge of yourself. All the other people in the world can keep their opinions to themselves.
Here are the 12 “ladylike” myths about sex women don’t have to follow.
1. You can't have any hair down there
Ladies, before you go pouring hot wax all over your genitals, and then have some grunting Russian rip it off, please take a moment to read these words: Your vagina is sexy as it is. It is natural.
Some hair is still totally enticing for members of the opposite sex to have sex with (and even preferred by some men).
You don’t have to take it all off because some masochist with a child-porn fetish likes it bare. Decide how you feel sexiest and go with it. It’s not worth splitting hairs over.
2. You shouldn't carry condoms because you look easy
Whoever perpetuated this myth probably has gonorrhea right now. “I would hope that in 2014 any self-assured, independent woman would say, ‘I have some right here and these work for me,’” says Dr. Emily Morse of “Sex with Emily.”
The men who judge you aren’t the kind of men you want to be sleeping with. “Arm yourself with protection; we do it in every other way,” Dr. Morse encourages.
Additionally, many women need to carry their own condoms because they’re allergic to latex.
“The makers of LifeStyles condoms revolutionized the category with the introduction of SKYN, the world's first clinically-approved polyisoprene condom, which are softer than latex and provides users with a more natural feeling,” suggests Dr. Emily Morse.
Throw it in your bag with your lip gloss and keys and then you’ll really be ready for action.
3. You’re taking too long
When he’s thrusting his full body weight on top of you while blowing hot breath in your face and saying things like, “Is it good for you?,” then girlfriend, you can take as looooong as you want.
It’s all about you and amen to that.
4. It’s not a successful evening unless it ends with sex
“People think intercourse is the only option, but there’s foreplay and a myriad of options,” advises Dr. Morse. Keeping a guy on his toes is a good thing; every guy loves a challenge.
You can still have a kick-ass time doing-everything-but(t) and it’s still a successful date.
5. Sex on your period is gross
Okay, we’re going to be honest here. This topic is still up for debate. Sex while you’re menstruating isn’t gross, it’s just not for everybody.
If you and your man are down to ride the crimson waves, then do a Beyoncé and grab your surfboardt and grain on that wood.
6. Having a one-night stand makes you a slut.
You are your own beautiful, shining person and as long as you are being safe and smart, you don’t have to justify anything. F*ck the double standard, and stop talking about my ladies like that!
7. Falling asleep after sex like they do in the movies will only give you a UTI.
OK, so this isn’t technically a myth, but we really needed to get this message across.
There’s a lot of misconception out there since classic teen movies like “Varsity Blues” and “Cruel Intentions” depicted girls just rolling over, sighing, closing their eyes and fluttering off into sleep. Wrong. Go strut on your little tip-toes to the bathroom first. Can’t say we didn’t warn you.
8. You shouldn’t initiate
Point blank if you’re confident in your delivery, then you should absolutely go for what you want. Buck the games before they begin.
There’s a difference between being coy and being completely exhausting. You can approach, you can initiate, you can now start texting first.
9. If you don’t have sex with him, he won’t call you back
It’s cool to make him wait. “Make him want it. That’s when it gets interesting,” says Dr. Morse. “Put it on hold and have some sexy foreplay.” After you perform your moves, he better be begging for it.
10. Always let him do the talking
You’re allowed to be assertive and say what you like. You can give direction. It’s like that fun Charles Wright song, “Express yourself.” I always think of Gap commercials and orgasms when that song comes on.
11. You are responsible for his whiskey dick.
Nah, bro. When he can’t get it up, it’s not your problem. You are not the cause of his erectile dysfunction. His choice of drink/ health complications/ mushpieness dick is.
12. You have to hang out and cuddle for a little bit
If you want to pull a “Gone Girl” and get the hell out of there directly after you’ve used the bathroom first, then don’t think twice about it. Snuggling isn’t for everyone, especially a girl on the run.