“There are two things in this life never worth crying about: what can be cured and what cannot be cured.”- Matthew Pearl
I like a good cry as much as the next person. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to relish in those few emotional and liberating moments, hours or half-days spent mourning a personal loss.
It’s a natural process that seems to heal us, like an outpouring of negative energy -- an emptying of the soul, if only for a moment.
However, since moving to New York and being hurled into the masses of adulthood, I’ve found myself emotional and too quick to cry for my own good.
With all the extra stress, pressure and consistent adversity faced by young Millennials, I’ve become soft, prone to taking every word, every action and every opinion as a personal assault against my character.
I cry when I pass a baby on the street. I cry when a boy doesn’t call me back. I cry when I think of my grandmother. I cry at concerts and during fights with my roommate.
I cry when my parents don’t call me back and when I think that I’ll never find someone to care about.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m weak, emotional or just becoming one of those women -- you know, the kind who cries at her kid’s graduation from kindergarten -- but I’ve realized that crying has become a constant pain, rather than a sporadic release.
Life is too short to spend it crying every time something goes wrong, every time someone disappoints me. There’s too much good to constantly fret over the bad.
If I don’t start picking and choosing what’s truly worth crying over, I will never live a happy life -- or at least one unmarked by mascara stains on my face.
The One That Got Away
You can’t spend your entire life obsessing over the boy who broke your heart, or the first boy you ever loved. There is a statute of limitation that comes with crying over your exes, and anywhere over a year is past its expiration.
You will never move on until you’ve let go of the idea that he was the only one for you. You broke up for a reason, even if you didn’t agree with the reason or have any say in it. He has moved on and now it’s time that you get on, too.
We’ve already spent too much of our adolescence crying over b*tches from middle school, so why give them anymore tears? Crying over bitchy women just isn’t worth it because by now, you should know that a woman is only a bitch when she’s unhappy.
Feel sorry for her, rather than feeling sorry for yourself. As we go through life getting our hearts ripped out by men, women should be the least of our worries. Sisterhood should become the replacement for bad men and sh*tty dates.
It’s a hard reality to swallow, but the face you have now is the one you’re always going to have. You may never have big boobs or a fat ass like Beyoncé, or maybe you’ll never be less than 140 pounds or taller than five feet.
The sooner you get over fretting about your big nose or closely spaced eyes, the sooner you can move on with it and start caring about more important things… things that can be changed.
Opinions are like assh*les, everyone has one. Everyone is always going to have something to say about you, whether you deserve it or not.
Letting yourself get worked up over the opinions of others is a losing battle that will only bring you constant anxiety and a life similar to that of the lady screaming about chicken cutlets in the subway. The day you stop caring about what other people think is the day you are truly free.
Never place too much importance or happiness on anything tangible; those things can be replaced, and if they can’t be replaced, they're not worth crying over.
Life is too short to get upset over losing a diamond ring or a favorite crop top. Learn to let things go -- accept that it’s all just "stuff" -- and realize you still have the important things, like your health, your family and your life. Only when you rid yourself of material possessions will you feel unburdened and unattached.
Attaching yourself to as few things as possible is important because the fewer things you attach yourself to, the less vulnerable you are to pain when it’s lost.
If you lose your job, get a new one. If you hate your job, get a new one. Crying over a job is like crying over spilled milk. Clean yourself up and move on with it.
Look at the ending of one chapter as an opportunity for new adventure, divine intervention or whatever rationale you need to understand that jobs come and go.
It’s all going to be all right in the end. You are most likely not at the job you are going to call your profession for another few years, anyway.
We’ve all cried over that douchebag who didn’t deserve us. We’ve all let the assh*le come into our homes and tear us apart. In my opinion, we like the pain.
No woman willingly enters into a relationship (even a date) with a known assh*le without knowing, somewhere deep down, he’s going to hurt her. The assh*le is a fluke that you need to get out of your system to know when you’ve found a good one.
Whether it comes in the form of letters or an empty call log, we will inevitably feel the sting of rejection many times throughout our lives. There’s no getting away from it.
Fearing rejection is like fearing the rain; you’ll live your entire life carrying around an umbrella. Rejection doesn’t mean you’re not a good catch or a good person; it means you weren’t right for a particular person, at that moment in time.
Stop taking rejection so personally and realize that not everything is going to work out. Just because you’re not picked first doesn’t mean you’ll always be last.
It took me many years to realize one very important truth about hair: It grows back.
Next time you get the insane idea that you’d look good with cross bangs, just remember when you’re staring at your frayed locks that it’s only gonna be like that for a few months. Life goes on and hair grows back.
Top Photo Courtesy: We Heart It