17 Reasons Why I'm Not A Bitch, I'm Just Sarcastic

by Ashley Fern

Being sarcastic is not a gift everyone has, but oh -- what a glorious gift it is for the people who are blessed to have it. Besides the fact that it's the greatest defense mechanism out there, it really comes in handy on a daily basis.

How else are you supposed to let people know they're stupid without actually telling them such?

Unfortunately, people tend to confuse sarcasm with bitchiness. Sure, they may overlap from time to time, but there really is quite a distinction between the two.

So what are the actual differences?

1. Sarcastic people aren't bitches, they just tell you the truth.

Just because you may not want to hear the truth doesn't mean the person delivering it is a bad person. Where do you think the expression "Don't shoot the messenger" comes from?

2. Bitchy is intentional, sarcasm is humorous.

Being a bitch all comes down to being rude, dismissive and condescending; sure, sarcasm can come off that way on occasion, but it's humorous by nature, not rude.

3. How else are you supposed to bond with your friends?

The more crass you are with your friends, the better you will get along with them and, thus, the stronger your bond will be. I mean who wants to be friends with a bunch of people who can't even take a joke.

4. And how else are you supposed to confuse strangers?

But really how else are you going to tolerate people you would otherwise not be speaking to? You can't just be outwardly rude, you must disguise your lack of patience through sarcasm.

5. Bitchy is on purpose, sarcasm is by nature.

You actually have to decide to be bitchy; people aren't that mean for absolutely no reason at all. Sarcasm, on the other hand, is just something you happen to be naturally fluent in.

6. Why ask if you don't want to hear it?

For some reason, people ask questions they would rather not hear the answer to. Unfortunately (for them), they ask anyway, and when they get the honest truth, they think the person giving the answers is a bitch... which leads us back to the initial question: Why ask if you don't want to hear it?

7. Being a bitch is a flaw, being sarcastic is a talent.

Being a bitch might be a character flaw, but being sarcastic is a honed and developed skill -- and should be treated as such.

8. Being a bitch is caring, being sarcastic is not giving a f*ck.

Being a bitch isn't easy. It takes effort and often means that people are bitchy because they care about something. That is perhaps the biggest difference between a sarcastic persona and a bitchy one.

People who are sarcastic don't have to try to act this way, it's natural for them.

9. Being a bitch is talking behind your back, being sarcastic is to your face.

The best part of sarcasm is that it's something everyone can enjoy, even the person receiving the backlash! On the other hand, no one wants to be on the other side of a bitch's comments.

10. Being a bitch is given with a look, being sarcastic is given through your words.

This is why being sarcastic is a talent, you must actually use your brain for it. You don't have to even make sense to be a bitch... actually, the less you make sense, the bitchier you probably are.

11. How else are you supposed to hint to creepy guys to leave you alone?

You have a reputation to uphold! You don't want the people you've rejected to go around and call you a bitch; it just makes you look terrible, so instead, you must fend them off with your wit and sarcasm.

12. Being a bitch is an offensive move, being sarcastic is a defense mechanism.

People don't come at you with sarcasm; they respond with sarcasm. Bitchy people will seize any opportunity to attack you because that's basically all that's involved in being a bitch in the first place.

13. Being bitchy amuses no one, being sarcastic amuses the important people.

No one likes a person who is constantly bitchy, but people love being entertained by sarcasm... if they can pick up on it, that is.

14. Being bitchy is directed at other people, being sarcastic is a reflection of yourself.

People aren't going to be a bitch to themselves, which is where sarcasm comes into play.

15. Being bitchy is a sign of insecurity, being sarcastic is a sign of social insightfulness.

Haven't you ever noticed the rudest people are those who are actually insecure about themselves?

16. Being bitchy is laughing at someone, being sarcastic is laughing with someone.

You'll never get a laugh from being a bitch; everyone can laugh along with sarcasm.

17. Being bitchy is about bringing attention to yourself, being sarcastic already has people listening.

Acting like a bitch is a cry for attention... when you're speaking sarcastically, you already have everyone's attention.

Do you finally see the difference? Glad we could help.

For more of her thoughts, humor and ridiculous opinions follow Ashley Fern on Instagram and Twitter.