My world stops for Beyoncé.
I'm not sure when my mild fandom reached full-blown BeyHive levels, but over time I've come to accept I'll do anything outside of harm to myself or others (maybe) for the diva. This includes waiting online for hours to purchase Ivy Park, her 200-piece causal and activewear collection in partnership with Sir Phillip Green for Topshop.
Rumblings of the fashion collaboration first started in 2014, and I've been waiting a year and a half for the athleisure line to drop. But, as always, Beyoncé comes only when she's good and ready, which apparently means on a random Thursday in March.
Last month, the "Formation" singer so graciously shared a teaser for Ivy Park explaining the brand name and her inspiration for the line, which she says caters to all women of all body types and sizes. The world went apesh*t over her rousing monologue about drive and perseverance.
Well, the day of the line drop is here and I'm ready. I've stepped my up workouts since that initial announcement and can now justify new gym thread purchases.
Much like Oprah, I want whatever Beyoncé's selling.
Sure, it's clear Beyoncé has no respect for my bank account or blood pressure, and why should she? No matter what she sells, I'm going to stress myself out trying to buy it.
That's exactly why I stayed up all night just to buy an Ivy Park headband.
Lucky for me, I have friends in pretty high places who can get me into an invite-only Ivy Park personal shopping preview event ahead of its official release. I'm beside myself with excitement to get first dibs on Beyoncé's latest offering, though I have no clue what kind of chaos lies ahead.
My friend and I arrived at the Topshop in Soho with a game plan: Grab everything first, ask questions later. As we journey up the escalator to the third floor, I notice there's no yelling or catfighting frenzy. In fact, the energy is much more pleasant than a 6 am free-for-all at Target on a Black Friday.
While I expected to see fashion editors biting one another Mike Tyson-style to get to the coveted Ivy Park body suit, there's nothing more than soft Beyoncé tunes playing and trays of bubbly waiting to be guzzled down between sales.
First, I grab a jacket. Then a pair of leggings, followed by a gray sports bra and white T-shirt with IVY PARK emblazoned on the front.
There are only a handful of women trickling in so far and I can tell they're not super-stans for Beyoncé since no one's tried to rip the mesh bomber jacket out of my hand yet. Still, I feel the need to pick up everything I see before anyone else gets a chance.
I'll give myself five minutes to snatch up what I want, then head to a changing room nearest the champagne.
So far, I'm impressed with everything.
Although Lululemon threw shade at Ivy Park, the fitness collection is a worthy competitor. The mesh, the color, the amount of stretchiness -- everything felt pretty legit. I'll have to give this gym-wear a few spins first before crafting a sound opinion, but I dig the fit already.
It's love at first sight for the Ivy Park dad hat and all-white mesh bomber jacket. And the '04' Corded Sweatshirt was too beautiful to put back on the rack, so yeah, that's mine now.
The sizes are related to the UK sizing chart, though. For example a small is actually a US size 6, which runs a bit bigger for my petite frame. Still, these styles can compliment bootylicious figures, which is a plus.
My friend, however, is on the hunt for XLs, but this must be the sample size-only event (insert eye roll) since there are very few plus sizes lying around. In the end, I walked away almost $300 poorer.
So what if I have to skip lunch for the rest of the week? This is all for the love of Beyoncé.
I feel like I'm coming down from a high or something. I can barely keep my eyes open, but desperately need one last thing: the Elastic Logo Ivy Park Headband.
It seems like the most unnecessary accessory in the whole collection, but I gotta have it after seeing Blue Ivy rock it so flawlessly in the trailer. Plus, it's only $15.
Though I want nothing more than to drift off into dreamland, I'm going to try to keep my eyes peeled until the online release. If it's anything like buying Beyoncé concert tickets, I might still be awake by sunrise.
Did I mention I only got four hours of sleep the night before this day-long ordeal? At this point, I'm delirious and getting sleepier by the second.
Maybe Kobe Bryant's final basketball game will keep me entertained until 1 am. If that doesn't work, I've got a yellow edition Red Bull on deck.
This is for Beyoncé, though. I can do this... right?
Look, I have a decent social life but this is late for me, especially on a school night. I'm usually frolicking around in my dreams by this time, so clearly my love for Bey knows no bounds.
I've got to rest my eyes, though, if I'm even going to be coherent by release time. I'm setting my Fitbit and iPhone alarms for 12:45 am to ensure I'm not a second late catching this release.
Let's pray to Beysus I wake up in an hour.
I AM PANICKING! I missed the online launch by a half an hour! Please God don't let everything be sold out.
My heart is pounding louder than Bey's voice on "Listen" and I'm holding my breath. But, if I die buying Ivy Park, that's totally fine.
Luckily, everything is loading in record time and the headband is still available. YAS!
Seems strange, though. It's never this easy to buy anything Beyoncé related. In fact, checking out is usually when the quest for goes to sh*t. No loading errors? No session timeouts? Yeah, this is officially the Twilight zone of Beyoncé experiences.
Not sure why buying her most anticipated fashion collection in decades is so seamless. All I know is my blood pressure's finally getting back to a normal level.
1:05 am EST
I'm turning up my "Workout Like Beyoncé" playlist to celebrate another ***flawless victory. I don't know whether I want to cry from happiness or exhaustion. Nevertheless, I'm jumping for joy because every bit of this Beyoncé rollercoaster ride is worth it.
In two weeks, I'll be watching Beyoncé's opening Formation Tour show in Miami while rocking all Ivy Park everything, headband included. No matter if I'm holding my breath every time Beyoncé season rolls around, Queen Bey gets all of my loyalty and patience. My faith in her brand, especially this active, girl power movement, remains true.
So where is my park, Bey asks? On the way to my house via UPS.