How To Make Sure That Guys Actually Approach You

by Anonymous

It's Friday night, you're out with your friends, you see this guy giving you the “I'm so into you look,” but for some reason he doesn't approach you. The night goes on, you catch eyes a few more times, but he still hasn't made a move.

It's common sense that the guy should approach the girl, so why isn't this guy approaching you? Well, men have a lot of insecurities and it takes a lot of courage to actually approach a woman. While I can admit that he didn't approach you because he didn't have the guts to do so, more often than not you can help him make the first step, simply by sending the right signals.

So, how can you get him to approach you? What is it that you're doing wrong, that stops the males from coming over for a conversation?

When it comes to being more approachable, things like your attitude, stance, friends, expression, energy and, finally, body language play a crucial role in the way you present yourself to men and are the key denominators behind a guy's approach decision.

This being said, if you want to become more approachable, pay close attention to the rest of this article.


Attitude is incredibly important because it decides what types of men you attract. Basically, what you expect will happen, will actually end up happening. For example, if you go out with your friends and all of you strongly believe that all men are bastards, you project an “all men are bastards” attitude.

Guys that aren't bastards won't approach you because they can smell this a mile away, they see that you aren't happy and thus avoid any unpleasant encounters.

On the other hand, the men that will approach you will be the ones that don't care about your attitude, don't care about how you feel, which means they will inevitably be the bastards.

You might think that the bitchy girl gets all the guys, but in reality she only gets the bastards.

Truth is, there's nothing more attractive than a woman with an uplifting attitude, a happy woman. It's the same with men; would you date that guy who thinks all women are “bitches”? Exactly.

Go out with a happy and healthy attitude toward men and you'll have a much higher chance of attracting a high-quality guy in your life.


If you're out there to meet guys, why would you act like you're out there to do anything else? Wanting to meet someone doesn't make you a slut; it just makes you a person. If you're trying to maintain some image for whatever reason, think about how that is actually keeping you from getting what you want. Be happy about wanting to meet someone and drop your ego, it's only going to work against you.

Body Language:

This is fairly straightforward. If you want a guy to approach you, act like it. Don't cross your arms, don't fidget, don't look the other way etc.

Remember, you want to look happy so don't be afraid to smile. Don't walk around with a sad grin on your face acting like you're not enjoying yourself.

Don't be afraid to make eye contact with men you find attractive. Give them a warm and inviting gaze. Let them know that you're interested and they will approach you. Avoid looking down at the floor or above people's heads, look straight so you can make eye contact.

Be Inviting:

This can be traced back to the attitude issue, but it's always great if a woman can seem inviting. Basically, you're inviting a guy to come over and talk to you and when he does, you act inviting toward the conversation. When I approach women, I always have a much better and easier time with a woman who “helps” me interact with her.

If she's just negative about our interaction, it just makes it that much more difficult to continue the conversation. So, if a guy that you find attractive, musters up the courage to come and talk to you, act inviting and he'll be much more likely to stay.

Drop your guard:

In this day and age, everyone in a “social situation” (bar/club) has a sort of social guard. Guys defend themselves by acting cocky or super important while women defend themselves by acting bitchy or super obnoxious.

Sadly, at the end of the night, all of these well-guarded individuals end up going home drunk, horny, disappointed and alone.

Someone that isn't so well-guarded is always respected or even envied by other people because everyone wishes they could act like that, everyone wishes they could be real, but for some reason they just put up this guard that destroys their social interactions.

You don't need to drop this guard all the time, for everyone. But drop it around the people you actually like, the guys you feel attracted to.

In order to meet someone genuine, you need to first be genuine yourself. Don't be afraid to be the first person who shares a personal story. If you want people to be fun and open, be fun and open with them.

Have the right friends:

Often times, women have a habit of condemning each other. This makes your fear of being called “shameless” perfectly reasonable, but this fear is also keeping you from meeting the right guy.

If you're going out with girls who are going to judge you when you want to meet guys, then how do you expect to meet anyone? The only solution is to get rid of these friends, not always, but at least when you're out trying to meet someone new. Nobody wants to have someone talking behind her back just because she wanted to meet a decent guy.

Also, avoiding the “man hater” friend is also a good idea. She can give men that horrible look that will keep them at a great distance for the entire night.

Enjoy yourself:

Don't make going out all about meeting new guys. If that's the only thing you're out there for, you're going to have a much harder time when it doesn't happen.

Also, going out purely with this mindset might make you come out as needy and desperate, things that you don't want a guy to think about you. Make the night fun, regardless of what's going to happen.

Don't be afraid to approach:

Even though it may be common sense for the guy to approach you, there's nothing wrong if you do it.

Some men may be great guys, but may have a really hard time approaching women. If you make the first step, trust me, he won't think you're easy; he'll just be happy that you did. He will see you as a confident, fun and social woman whom everyone would want to talk to.

Hopefully he'll have the guts to at least continue the conversation once you've started it.

This is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook I give out. If you want to improve your love life, visit:

Alex Matlock Photo credit: Tumblr

For more on Alex visit The Player Guide.