I’ve had my fair share of gross dates.
One guy felt the need to blow his nose into one of those fancy dinner napkins and deposit the napkin back on the table.
Another felt the need to trash my bathroom every time he came by. I’m talking towels on the floor, mysterious stains in my tub and, of course, nothing was flushed.
Then, there was the guy who ate me out while on my period. Hope he flossed, at least.
It’s not just guys, either. Girls are just as nasty. Between leaving our dirty tampons on the floor and insisting on plucking dates' eyebrows, no one is safe from the wrath of the bad date.
The sink is there for a reason.
I had a really great date with this one guy from OkCupid, so I invited him back to my place. Things were getting pretty heated in the bedroom and right before clothes started really coming off, he excused himself to use the restroom, which is right next to my room. I’m not sure if it was the tapas we had for dinner or if he was nervous, but it sounded like there was a war going on in there. He just let it all go and I was able to hear all of it (thanks, thin Brooklyn walls). That part didn’t gross me out though. It happens. What grossed me out is that immediately after hearing him flush, he just opened the door and tried to get back into it! This guy clearly didn’t wash his hands after letting a hurricane loose in my bathroom and then he wanted to finger me? I told him I felt weird and made him leave.
- Karen*, 28
This is how to ensure he will never sleep with you again.
This girl once left a used tampon on the floor, right next to the trash can.
- Jake*, 23
Just keep your mouth shut.
The single grossest thing a date could do would be commenting on what or the way I eat. Such a turn-off.
- Emily, 24
This one makes my head hurt.
I once went on a date with a guy from the UK who told me he liked to show affection by head-butting. And that his ex-girlfriend hated it. Can't believe a girl would hate getting slammed in the head by a grown man…
- Kayla, 26
Do people not know how a bathroom works?
I keep my bathroom really clean. I don’t want to bring a girl home and have her see toenail clippings or stained towels. This chick who I was otherwise really into went to use the bathroom at my place and spent a REALLY long time in there. I went in a few minutes after her. There was hair everywhere. In the toilet. In the sink. In the tub. Clumps. It looked like hair spiders took over my bathroom.
- Leo*, 26
One woman's "gross date" is another woman's "hubby material."
I don't find it gross, but my boyfriend was once told by a woman on a first OKCupid date, 'You talk about butts a lot.' It wasn't a compliment. He has a lot of interesting butt facts, like that Grover Cleveland's doctors once treated him with rectal milk feedings. I don't understand how that isn't something to love.
- Emily, 32
Keep your hands where I can see 'em.
Some guy tried to finger me at Fat Cat during the jazz show.
- Hannah*, 23
No, you should wait until at least the third date to remove any body hair.
She kept asking me about my eyebrows then offered to pluck them in the bathroom. She even said she had tweezers in her bag.
- Matt*, 27
*Some names have been changed to protect the identities of these love-scorned Millennials.