I had only been dating him a few weeks when he dropped a bomb that would forever change the way I thought about myself.
We were lounging around the apartment, feeling especially indulgent staying inside because it was a beautifully sunny day, and just teasing each other incessantly. If this sounds like a Taylor Swift co-ed sleepover party, that’s because it kind of was.
After running around the kitchen baking cookies, I had flopped onto the couch and tilted my head back into the sunlight rays streaming through the window.
“I love the way your mustache reflects in the light,” he said with a comfortable chuckle.
Whoa. I was completely caught off guard. I thought only I could (occasionally) see the faint, pesky blonde hairs on my upper lip that collected beads of sweat during late sprints to the office, but I never bothered to wax off. What for? No one can really see that mildly embarrassing attribute but me, I innocently believed, like over-tweezed eyebrows or bad highlights.
Although meant to be an endearing comment, I felt mildly exposed. I quickly hid under the throw blanket and used it as a face mask to buy me some time while I figured out how to react. Sitting there under my blanket-tent, I realized how stupid my mortification was. Why is female body hair such a taboo thing?
So long as it’s below 40 degrees and we have stockpiled on high socks and over-the-knee boots, don’t expect us to break out the razors and throw a shaving party as if we’re all on the swim team together. Not to mention that it’s really drying to shave that often, especially in cold winter weather.
If the last time the bare skin on your legs caught a real breeze George Clooney was still single, then good for you, girl!
If you believe that waxing your pubic hair is all a sham, solely designed to make it easier for men to find a vagina and women to touch each other’s sensitive spots, then grow on with your bad self! It’s been so long since I’ve had two eyebrows that I’m considering sending them a postcard.
No-shave November isn’t solely a celebration for the boys. Clearly, women like myself can partake in the fun, too. The great thing about my lady ‘stache? It doesn’t need to be a holiday for me to never have to shave it.
Here’s why the entire season of winter is our no-shave November.
1. Because they invented long pants for a reason
So we can put off shaving for one (or six) more days. The ability to conceal our hairy legs is the only redeeming quality that pants possess.
2. We wear high socks and high boots
Who cares what’s going on underneath them? It’s like the same “tree in the woods” sound logic: If our legs are hidden under thick layers of fabric, are they actually offensively hairy?
3. We have a strict cuffing schedule
Meaning, we know when we can let it go au naturel and when it’s time to groom before the main event, your legs give a whole new meaning to taking a walk on the wild side.
4. We can use an extra layer of warmth
Heating bills and shaving creams and waxing and threading all add up to a lot of money. Why spend money on hair removal and heat when your body has a built-in thermal system? It’s like free tights that don’t snag.
5. Unless we’re in the shower, we’re bundled up
It’s not like summertime where we’re running around in bathing suits and crop tops and jean short/thongs.
There are no spontaneously naked occurrences in winter that warrant on-call hairlessness 24/7. When you need to be bare, you’ll be prepared.
6. Because it’s friggin freezing in here Mr. Bigglesworth
Perhaps Dr. Evil and Mr. Bigglesworth would benefit from a few strands of hair.
7. Because it’s cheaper than fur
It’s the human body’s natural faux-fur, if you will. Downy arms and legs are just as soft and snuggly to cuddle with as a down pillow. And they’re hypoallergenic!
8. We save money on grooming
The less money we spend during the holiday season on grooming and upkeep, the more cash we have to dole out on special holiday presents. Which would you rather: barren legs or a barren Christmas tree?
9. Our skin is already very dry
During the cold weather months, our skin is already very dry and easily irritated. Shaving or waxing certain areas can exacerbate this problem.
We’d prefer soft, non-itchy and hairy skin to cracked, itchy and rough skin any day.
10. We are women hear us roar
Seriously, how are we going to act like lions if we don't have the mane to go along with it? You got to look the part to act the part, or something like that.