Me, Myself And I: 9 Divine Qualities Of A Girl Who Goes Out By Herself

by Zara Barrie

A girl who dares to dine alone is a force to be reckoned with.

You can oh so easily spot her from the opposite side of the bar. She’s dripping with sexuality, confidence and a fierce independence.

You would never mistake her for the unsteady girl who fumbles in her purse as she nervously chucks back a “personality drink” (no judgment here) before mustering up the courage to meet her blind date at the bistro across the street.

You would never confuse her for the vulnerable, sad-eyed girl who braved spaghetti straps on a nuclear mid-winter evening only to find herself stood up.

Her energy is just different.

She’s not drinking for the reasons most girls drink when out; she’s alone and couldn’t care less about getting buzzed for the trivial purposes of stifling that pesky social anxiety.

She’s not here seeking a soul to SEX either (though if it happens, it's cool).

This is a girl who simply likes herself enough to treat herself, and that, that is an exquisitely beautiful thing to do.

Whether you're dying for the opportunity to engage with this rare, endangered creature OR are simply infatuated with this ever-elusive lady -- she has all of us posing the same question: WHO is this girl?

1. She’s fiercely independent

Existing in an era, when the media constantly present girls as hyper-needy, codependent, doe-eyed, waif-like damsels-in-distress, the girl alone at the bar serves as a very welcomed change.

What's so refreshing about her newfangled energy is the ferocity of her independence.

She defies the negative, too-often-sexist stereotypes of the "parched girl," DESPERATE for you to come swooping in to quench her thirst.

Self-sufficient vibrations radiate palpably from her body, as she picks up her own check and is satisfied with her own fascinating thoughts.

She doesn't need your money, your company OR your opinion.

2. She’s confident as all hell

The girl alone at the bar has a seductive ring of confidence encircling her that’s both intimidating and sexy. (Don’t you find "intimidating" to be synonymous with "sexy" anyway?)

Having the courage to go out by yourself means you attain real confidence, the type of self-assuredness that has roots deeply implanted within the earth's fine soil.

She's unlike the surplus of transparently insecure girls, who perpetually surround themselves with a posse of obnoxiously trendy, superficially attractive, oh-so-popular “friends" in order to validate their very existence and place in the world.

The girl who CHOOSES to fly solo knows she’s more than enough and isn’t caught up in the vapid act of flaunting her social status to the ever-irrelevant outer world.

3. She’s an exotic creature of the night

The girl who dines alone in the evening is astonishingly different than the girl who safely dines alone in the daytime (which doesn't count).

The girl alone at the bar is a creative creature, and like all true artists, her soul beautifully thrives in the darkness. She knows wonderful things only happen after 10 pm.

4. She’s a fascinating vixen

There's something so vivaciously vampy about a girl devouring steak frites whilst nursing a port alone. She's the modern day vixen.

A vixen is so very different from the endless supply of obvious “hot girls" over-saturating the bars and restaurants in cities and towns across the great expanse of the universe.

While she's most definitely sexy, a vixen stands out from the crowd because of her immeasurable brainpower, endless depth and natural complexity.

A vixen is smart. She knows what the f*ck she's doing and doesn't subscribe to the tired notion of "false modesty." She understands she looks oh-so-fine in her crimson lipstick and chic, all-black attire. She's aware of the power of her mystique.

5. She's completely mysterious

Take a moment and visualize the girl who indulgently takes up space in the bar, basking in the precious sound of her own silence while enjoying the symbiotic melody of the surrounding chaos.

She’s not your rosy-cheeked, all-American girl-next-door -- that I can boldly assure you.

She’s a girl who has been through things. Some girls just have a specific glint gleaming from within their deep-set eyes, a charming twinkle leading us to believe they’ve got a secret (or six).

She’s borne witness to some troubling sights in her day, and going out alone is but mere child’s play in comparison. She leaves us ravenous for her story, flexing our imaginations as we play out her life's plot in our heads.

There’s just something so alluring about a woman with a past, don’t you think?

6. She’s a world traveler

The girl alone at the bar is teeming with a beautiful love for culture and inexhaustible desire for adventure. Her bejeweled clutch is never without her passport and trusted compass.

If she were to smoke, she would be the girl who rolls her own cigarettes with tobacco purchased from her recent venture to the Spanish seaside.

The girl, who is fearless enough to see the world beyond the confines of her comfort zone, finds going out alone to be as natural as a yogi finds the digestion of an organic kale smoothie.

7. She’s smarter than you

It's common knowledge that you have to be smart as f*ck if you're going to be entertained by purely YOURSELF for a long evening.

The girl alone at the bar has intellectual and emotional depth, allowing her own thoughts and feelings to sustain her through the night.

8. She’s dressed to the nines

It’s my fear that you will mistake the type of girl I'm describing with a VERY different girl, who is also by her lonesome -- a girl clad in a polyester, Forever 21, fake-tribal printed bandeau top and a broken heel, who mysteriously found herself smashed and alone, trying to understand why her credit card has been declined three consecutive times (because it's her driver license).

There's no shame in shedding a tear at a bar (the late Diana Vreeland once proclaimed, "Without emotion there is no beauty"), but our girl alone at the bar isn't crying tears of tequila.

You can tell her apart from the aforementioned girl for many reasons, the strongest because she’s DRESSED TO IMPRESS.

It's rude to go on a date sporting cutoffs and flip-flops, and tonight she happens to be on the best date of her life. She respects herself enough to dress up for herself. Whatever her version of dressing up is.

9. She's gorgeously WILD and FREE

While the girl alone at the bar is absolutely, positively blissful to drink her red wine in solitary peace, she also has an irrepressible, thrill-seeking tendency.

By going out alone, she's leaving her night boldly wide open to NEW EXPERIENCES.

She's the type to meet a mountain-climbing cartoonist from out of town (who is also alone at the bar).

The next thing she knows, she's flying through space on a private jet through the evening and ice climbing in the Swiss Alps by noon.

By practicing the fine art of "going out alone," she's answering to no one but HERSELF, leaving her life to be that of a blank, unpredictable canvas colored only by magnificent opportunities, powerful experiences and unexpected friends and lovers existing all over the globe.