Exactly How To Get Over That Guy Who Won't Let You Get Over Him

by Lauren Martin

Men, like drugs, can be hard to quit. They're easily found, easily obtained and even easier to pick up again. Like those nasty habits you've developed over the years, sometimes you just don't know how to throw them away.

The difference between men and drugs is that drugs can't text you at 11 pm when you're at your weakest and most vulnerable moment (or can they?).

They can't tell you that you look beautiful while stroking your leg. They can't lie and pretend they love you for the night, holding you the way you wish you could be held every night.

Like drugs, however, men will bring you down -- deep down. They can put you into a hole of self-loathing and despair. They can get you hooked and dependent on them. They can ruin your life and turn you into an addict, obsessed with where and how you're getting your next fix.

So how exactly do you cut them off? How do you let go of the guy who won't let you go? How do you say no to someone who all you want is to say is yes to?

What you need to remember is men like the games. They try and pin the game-playing on women, but women aren't about the games unless it's trying to get them to a more stable position. Men, however, could play games until they die.

The hard part is getting out of the game. It's hard to admit defeat, but sometimes it's necessary for the good of your own health and sanity. Because when you're with a man who's just playing games, you're only going to lose.

Don't think of the good; think only of the bad

If you remember all the good instead of the bad, there's a better chance you'll remember why you're trying to get over him in the first place.

Most women, however, harp on the good. They fixate on the few good moments that become glimmers of hope in an otherwise desolate situation.

Instead, practice remembering the bad. Remember all the times he wasn't there, forgot to call and just didn't care.

Find anyone else

Even if the guy who asked you on a date is not your type, not as handsome or not as important.

Even if he's not as good, still go on that date. You need to put yourself in situations that remind you that you deserve better and that there are better people out there.

Just because he's not your type, doesn't mean he's not the type of fix that will help you get over the last one.

Give yourself the same advice you give your friends

Why is it we can give great advice to our friends, but when it comes to our own lives, we can't help but go with the worst possible options?

When it comes to men, you must look at the situation the same way you would if your friend was going through it. If you saw your friend losing herself to a guy who is treating her like sh*t, you'd tell her to snap out of it and move on.

Throw yourself into yourself

Loneliness can be a difficult thing to go through. Like withdrawal, you have to ride it out until you finally get comfortable with yourself again.

So many relationships are ones based on respites from lonely nights more than anything else. These are damaging relationships because you're choosing someone not for you, but for your empty bed.

If you can learn to be alone, you'll learn how to avoid those urges to welcome unwanted company. Instead of throwing yourself at the next guy, throw yourself at the next thing that's just for you.

Pay attention to his actions, not his words

It's cliché because it's true: Actions speak louder than words.

If you're hell-bent on giving him a second chance because you think he's changed (or at least his feelings toward you have), then it's time to step up your defense. He's allowed to play you once, but never twice.

This time, instead of listening to his words, pay attention to his actions. Men have a tendency of saying whatever they think will work on you, but following up on those words is another thing.

When his words no longer match his actions, then it's time to move on.

Stop thinking you need him

If he isn't making you better, he's only making you worse. You don't need anything in your life that isn't enhancing it.

Just because your friends have boyfriends and your mom is expecting a wedding doesn't mean you need a man in your life.

As Gloria Steinem stated, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."

Stop thinking your life isn't complete until you have a man. Be the man.