A funny thing happens when you begin exploring the online dating world: You become keenly aware of the commonalities among profiles and the time it takes to "properly" craft a compelling profile. When I had an active profile, I could predict the photos (and accompanying text) on a user's profile.
It went something like the following: outdoors photo, active photo, bathroom selfie, photo with a child ("NOT MINE," he'll write) and a group shot where every person is holding a beer.
I felt a falseness permeating through the sites and I was just as guilty by writing one simple phrase in my "About Me" section: "Pretty much amazing!"
Since I had closed the online dating adventure chapter of my life, after a string of disappointments, I felt it time to properly complete my "About Me" section:
I am 26 years old and have never been in a relationship; I've never even been on a proper date. I'm insecure about that, but I also believe I really only need to go on one really good date — the whole quality over quantity thing. I love the beach and can spend hours letting the water rush over my frozen feet.
I can spend an equal amount of time sitting on the roof of my apartment building in the middle of the night and listening to the sounds of the city. I spend a lot of time with my family and friends, and I admit, my dog's opinion of you matters more than you'll probably realize.
I don't like feeling vulnerable and only allow it to happen when I feel particularly strong about something — or someone. I will stop traffic during rush hour to ensure a family of birds makes it safely across the street. I'll also spend a rainy afternoon trying to reunite a lost dog with his family.
I talk too much, text too much and will awkwardly fill silences with nonsense because I'm afraid that if I'm not actively contributing something, I might be seen as unnecessary. I've never felt pretty because I've always embraced the qualifications people have added to the definition (I could be prettier if I'd just...).
I think I'm hilarious and will never not make the obvious pun. I have insomnia, and my anxiety can spill into all aspects of my life, bringing depression right along with it. I have OCD and, sometimes, it gets in the way of my life and frustrates the people around me. I'm working on all of it.
I love movies in which nothing major happens, but the main characters discover and accept themselves at the end. Music is my life -- there's no negotiation on that.
I carry this fantasy with me about the person I'm going to meet. I believe he's truly going to see me, and the parts of my identity that overwhelm me won't affect him. Finding this right person has been my every wish since I was 4 years old.
I wasn't the little girl planning her wedding; I was the little girl planning her life, wanting to include someone else in it, too. I included this someone else's plans into mine and planned on us making entirely new plans together.
I just moved 900 miles away from home, and I'm creating a new life for myself. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm definitely doing something. I don't think I'm expecting too much from the world, but, who knows, maybe there isn't anyone out there for me.
I have cried many tears on my way to find the right man, but, at this point, I can't keep putting in more effort than the person I'm dating. Right now, I need this to be your turn. I promise, I'll even the playing field later.
What do you think?