Science Says If You Believe In 'Soulmates' You May Never Actually Find Love


The idea of a "soulmate" is typically associated with a deep, romantic connection between two people. But new research says that claiming someone is your soulmate can hurt your relationship instead of help.

Think about it: All of our traditional ideals of what a soulmate is or should be are typically flawed. Romeo and Juliet, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen; even Carrie and Mr. Big weren't without their problems.

These couples have one thing in common: Their everlasting connections were doomed for failure, and for some, things ended in a fairly gruesome way.

Cheesy rom com plots that have us believing that true love is something serendipitously stumbled upon instead of the result of hard work. There might be a flaw in the way we've come to view relationships, as sparked through our own activity on social media.

Research in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology debunks the idea that the belief in one "soulmate" is a rational way of thinking. In fact, the study argues quite the opposite.

The research says, "the belief that significant others who mythicize their relationships as 'fate' are actually the most unhappy, and more likely to split."

The study's findings hypothesize that relationships where partners refer to one another as "soulmates" often bring along long-term unhappiness when the romance falls short of the fantasy.

Couples who maintain that they're on a "journey" with one another — growing into their love and partnership — have a better chance of survival.

As lead researcher and Toronto University professor Spike W.S. Lee recounted, this concept is a bad way to view relationships because it indicates that the two joining together should be conflict-free — clearly an unrealistic notion that leads to greater disappointments and dissatisfaction.

When reality proves otherwise, as it almost inevitably does, it hurts all the more.

So, with scientific proof, we know that there's never been a greater incentive to stay away from overwrought relationship metaphors.

By playing up your significant other as "perfect" and "totally meant for you," we might be prematurely putting the nail in our relationship coffin before we give it the room to grown into something actually great.

via: Science Direct, Photo Courtesy: Fanpop