My latest feminist rant: Guys really do have it all in the workplace. They get paid more, they get more senior positions and they get to have "work wives."
To be fair, I haven’t even heard the term used in conversation until happy hour a couple months back, when a male friend of mine referred to a girl on his team as an "office wife." When I teased him about dating her, he was horrified — those relationships are limited to the workplace, he insisted. Besides, she wasn’t hot.
A couple of Google searches informed me the term "work wife" refers to fostering an extremely close, platonic relationship with a female coworker that mirrors marriage (minus the weekly sex and arguments about taking out the trash).
Why do guys get all the fun, though? Work husbands aren’t really a thing (we don't need them!), and besides — every job I’ve ever had, I’ve always preferred having one or two girls to get lunch and gossip with. I consider them as close as my out-of-work friends. In fact, I probably spend more time with my work BFF than I do with my real-life one.
Ladies, go grab your work spouses -- or at least laugh about these 14 items over Gchat.
1. They get it when you complain about work.
There’s no one better to b*tch about a crappy day or horrible boss than someone who lives that reality with you. Your real-life friends might nod their heads and sympathize, but they probably don’t get just how bad your deadline is or why you’re so pissed someone on your team took credit for a project.
2. They can gush over work crushes with you.
They will totally understand just how hot that guy from the marketing team is and will be an extra set of eyes to monitor his every move.
Also, they can provide some much-needed insider intel on whether or not he’s single, what he did at happy hour and where he goes to take coffee breaks.
3. They can become personal friends, too.
They’ve seen you at your worst and at your best, five (or more) days a week. They probably know as much about you as your closest friends outside of work, so there’s no one better to bring into your life even after your 9-5 ends.
4. They can make sure you’re sticking to your juice cleanse.
No one gets the temptation that is your office candy vending machine quite like they do. A good work wife will keep an eye on you to make sure your body is Demi Lovato-level, and you're not falling into the Snickers trap of deliciousness.
5. They know all the office gossip.
Two sets of ears are better than one. A work wife will share all her dish in exchange for all of yours, which will make your daily coffee runs way more fun.
6. They’re always down for lunch.
It’s like being back in school — you always want to have someone to sit at your table when you’re chowing down. If you’re having a deskside lunch, you know you can always count on your work wife to grab you a snack.
7. Your relationship is built on mutual respect.
Before you became friends, you were forced to work together. That bond will always be there and serves as the groundwork for your friendship. You know that she has skill, talent and can conduct herself professionally — and those are the people you should surround yourself with.
Besides, friendships don’t need to revolve around getting drunk together and having 3-hour-long Tinder sessions. If you can both agree the other is a fly chick, then that’s enough.
8. You have someone that’s always there.
...Unless one of you gets fired or moves to a new department.
We spend over 90,000 hours at work throughout our life — might as well have someone there to commiserate with.
9. They can cover for your ass.
About to lose your sh*t at another coworker? They’ll hold you back. Hungover on a random Tuesday morning? They will keep the bathroom clear while you’re puking away your feelings in the toilet.
10. Your relationship is founded on trust.
With the amount of sh*t you share about your coworkers, your boss and everyone in-between, you need to know that none of it is going to come back around to haunt you. You trust them with everything from handling projects and meetings to keeping that secret about your holiday party hook-up. Best of all? It's mutual.
11. They open you up to more people.
Whether they work in a different department or just on the other end of the office, they’re extended network of friends becomes yours. And that's super beneficial for making strategic connections later on.
12. You always have a wing-woman.
Company happy hour? She’s there. Holiday party? She’s by your side. Summer retreat? You guys already called dibs on splitting a cabin.
13. They know exactly where you are when you’re crying in a closet.
You bet your ass they’ll be there, holding a box of Kleenex they stole from the company supply shelf.
14. They tell you that doing shots at happy hour might not be the best idea.
A good work wife will take shots with you. A great work wife will tell you you’re going get fired if you finish off that bottle of Cuervo.